201: my roommates are peeing in the litter box (w/ Morgan Absher)
Perfect Person
Miles Bonsignore
4.9 • 1.7K Ratings
🗓️ 13 May 2026
⏱️ 68 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Morgan Absher (Two Hot Takes) joins the show to take stunning calls about roommates peeing in the litter box, the ethics of tattling in law class, and a bachelorette stripper conundrum.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is a headgum podcast. |
| 0:17.2 | Hello and welcome to Perfect Person of the show where I'm Perfect and you're, of course, a person. |
| 0:23.4 | Ooh, double fart right up top. |
| 0:29.2 | Recently, I've sort of been getting dirty with it. |
| 0:34.1 | By putting an onion in a pot. |
| 0:41.6 | Yeah, an onion was sort of sitting in my cupboard and it sprouted. |
| 0:44.3 | And so I sort of said, let's make a plant of that. |
| 0:51.9 | I'm obviously here with the Morgan. I'm sure. Morgan, welcome to the show. |
| 0:54.7 | Thank you for having me. Of course. Have you ever done that? |
| 0:57.8 | You've sort of said, well, my vegetables are sprouting in the cupboard. |
| 0:59.1 | I got to sort of put them in a pot. |
| 1:09.9 | Well, I grew up on a farm, so we wanted the sprouts to pop out of the potatoes. Oh, that's a good point. Yeah, we had a potato cellar. Ooh. And then me and my great grandma, we'd go down, find a potato with a lot of sprouts, cut it up, put it in the dirt. |
| 1:11.3 | That's very nice. 20 new potatoes. |
| 1:12.2 | And are you gardening now? |
| 1:13.6 | No, I don it in the dirt. That's very nice. |
| 1:11.3 | 20 new potatoes. And are you gardening now? No, I don't have the space for it here. I'm going to, like, build some raised garden beds, though. See, I have overalls. Like, I'm ready for manual labor and gardening. So it's on my agenda. That's nice. That's very nice. Yeah. Well, once I find some time. |
| 1:29.0 | Eventually. |
| 1:29.8 | After we're doing five podcasts a week or whatever. But Morgan, thank you so much for being here. What makes you a perfect person to be on the show today to give advice to people over the phone? I've seen some things over my five years now reading Reddit stories stories. Yeah, foo. And by the way, |
| 1:44.5 | your episodes are like two hours long. You're doing like seven stories, seven stories, five to seven |
| 1:48.9 | stories, an episode. They weren't meant to be that long. Were they always that long? No. |
| 1:54.9 | They started out as like 23 minutes and it was great. But I'm a people pleaser. Of course. |
| 2:01.3 | Yeah, longer, longer, longer. They said longer. If I, if I went six hours, I think they still would say longer. I think so. Have you done the thing where you like cut like a really long episode out of highlights and then put it out and people watch it? Um, no. Yeah. I've, I've, I've stolen some stories from the vault of Patreon. |
... |
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