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Cold Ones

2 HOURS Of The Craziest Tests

Cold Ones

Cold Ones

Comedy

4.91.4K Ratings

🗓️ 19 October 2025

⏱️ 111 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

We tried the worst shark tank products, the most awful celebrity alcohol and ranked the funniest youtubers products!


#coldones #comedy #test

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

It tastes like hog sh-s-h-h-h- This is fucking bullshit! Do you want to the intro? What is this vid? Um... Hey! Hello! Welcome back! Video today. Me, him, uh... Max, it's Max. Max. It's been a while since we sat down and just drank ourselves in Dorcoma, so in the spirit of Christmas. The spirits of Christmas. Yeah, literally. That's funny. I like that. Celebrities, they like to make alcohol. Last time we did this, we did celebrity alcohols. And it turns out we didn't even scratch the surface of celebrity alcohols. Maybe one day we'll make an alcohol. Wait, we get the camera. I already did. Okay. Darcy has come together and ordered a bunch more for us, and he's got a little game for us to play. Tessa will bring you the celebrity grog in a glass. You don't know what it is. We're going to play a little game where I read out five facts. After each fact about the celebrity that made that grog, you get a guess each. First person to guess correctly gets a point.

0:55.0

The other person has to finish the entire drink. What are you playing for? I've got this present, which is a mystery. Is it another banana? No, not a banana. We've got a higher budget this time. Two bananas! Man, if there's a banana in there, I'm gonna be stoked. Let's go. Let's get it! Thanks to this or clear liquor scares me.

1:11.6

I can smell that from here.

1:12.6

I'm gonna do stoked. Let's go. Let's get it! Thanks to this, clear liquor scares me. I can smell that from here. I'm gonna do it like a sophisticated. Whoa. It's actually not that bad. I feel like it'd be good mix with something. That is not a shot, by the way. Fuck! Off. No, more for me. That's quite jarring. right, Darcy, I'm ready for the first fact.

1:27.7

The first fact about this celebrity is their middle name is Nicole. Middle name? Yeah. My brain is limited enough. Why would I know that? Nicole Kidman. Okay. Let me think. Nikki Minaj. I only get one guess. Nicky Minaj. Okay. Chad has guest Nicole Nicole Kidman and Max has guest Nikki Nicole Minaj.

1:46.5

Unfortunately, they are both incorrect. Fuck! So should we finish our drinks and then get another ones for each question? I'm just joking. No, no, no. And less. This celebrity won the Teen Choice Award for Female Hottie in 2016. Bro, I stopped watching Nickelode when I was 10. Been Wolfhard.

2:01.4

I don't know who that is. You've locked it in. I'm going to say, Miley Cyrus. Okay, you've locked in Miley Cyrus. Max, who did you say? They were both, unfortunately, incorrect. Okay. It's fucking strong as fuck. What is that, Chad? What is that? I don't know. Vodka? Just a shit vodka?

2:17.1

This celebrity was paid

2:18.9

$275,000 to promote the infamous Fire Festival. Oh, fuck. I watched the documentary. Oh! I feel like

2:28.0

we could get it from here. Ariana Grande. Fuck. I don't know. I don't know. Pass.

2:32.4

All right. It is not Ariana Grande. And it is not false. If this doesn't give it away, then the next one will. No, it won't. This celebrity starred in a controversial Pepsi advert that aired in 2017. Gentle Jenner. Brough. Brack. Brat. Brat. Brat. Brat. Brat. Brough. Brough. Can someone hand me a Pepsi, please? She made this shit! Correct. We'll get the bottle for you. Yeah, let's see the bottle. So what is it? It's a tequila. Oh, it's a tequila. Okay, that makes sense. I fucking hate tequila and it smells and tastes like shit, so... It's 80 proof, 40%. Yeah, this tastes like shit. I can't tell because tequila sucks. I've got a new bonus fun rule. What? If you're on the chance to make Max skull his drink, if you guess the exact dollar amount that bottle cost us in total to get here, within $5. No, no, I'm not playing that game.

3:24.5

Yes?

3:25.4

There's no downside for you.

3:26.8

Oh, there's no downside? Oh, okay. In AUD, by the way. Oh, in AUD? So I said what was about $80. AUD. Shipping about the same amount. Import fees, another 40. So I'm going to say around 200 AUD to get it here. Unfortunately, that is not within $5 of the actual amount.

3:40.9

It was $176.

3:42.5

Fuck!

3:43.1

It's pretty close.

3:43.8

Come on.

3:44.2

That serves a sip at least. Ughah! Fuck! I feel like you started with the worst one. This is the next glass. Oh, excellent. More clear liquid. This is very perfume. Very flowery. The first fact about this celebrity is they have a black belt in karate. Um, Mr Beast. I'm trying to think of his name. Oh, fuck off, Chad. Steven Seagal. Yeah, Steven Seagal. Okay. Unfortunately, they are not correct. Next. Their favorite midnight snack. Oh, fuck you, Darcy. They're supposed to get easier. Trust me, bro. Is baked beans on grilled sourdough with garlic and hot sauce topped with a duck egg and parmesan cheese? That sounds so good. It's some fancy fucking fucker. John Fabrow. I'm going to say Guy Friere. It pains me to say it, but unfortunately they are not the celebrity that created this drink. That's a good midnight snack, though, you have to admit. Next. This celebrity starred as a guest in the Simpsons episode 5, season 23, the food wife. It's a food guy. It's a chef. Have you seen the episode, Darcy? Gordon Ramsey. I didn't see the episode. Wait, um, what? Scott's about to fact check his Sips and Law. I was going to do this thing where I let Chad guess too, but Max was right. Oh! It's Gordon Ramsey! It's cool! He seems so obvious. He's the blackout? Fuck! Come on. Where's the bottle? Can we have the bottle, please? Whoa! That looks nice. It's called Ramsey's gin.

5:07.9

That is? about fuck come on where's the bottle can we have the bottle please whoa that looks nice uh it's

5:06.8

called ramsies gin that is a cool name looks like something you put on the top shell it either looks

5:11.1

fancy or it's from fucking woolworths to be honest 40% again all right darcy you're about

...

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