#2: 5 Things You Need to Know About Attachment Styles
On Attachment
Stephanie Rigg
4.9 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 21 April 2022
⏱️ 16 minutes
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Summary
Most of us have heard about attachment styles and attachment theory - but in this episode, I'm breaking down some common misconceptions and clarifications. Join me as we discuss things like whether attachment styles can change, whether you can fall into multiple attachment styles, and whether it's possible to shift from insecure to secure attachment.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to On Attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience dating, love and relationships. |
| 0:12.2 | I'm your host, relationship coach and attachment expert Stephanie Rigg, and I'm really glad you're here. |
| 0:25.1 | Okay. and I'm really glad you're here. Hey guys, welcome to On Attachment. |
| 0:28.9 | Today I want to talk to you about five things you need to know about attachment styles. |
| 0:33.6 | So I think in the past few years, a lot of people have become aware of attachment theory and attachment styles, which is really great. |
| 0:43.9 | More and more people are understanding their own attachment behaviours, might be identifying as anxiously attached or avoidantly attached or maybe are noticing these behaviors in the people |
| 0:57.6 | in their lives, so in partners or ex-partners. |
| 1:00.7 | And I think that having that awareness and that understanding provides such a useful lens |
| 1:05.4 | through which to view our life and relationships. |
| 1:09.2 | And it really does explain so much and offer a really |
| 1:13.2 | illuminating perspective on some of the unconscious drivers of these behaviours and some of the |
| 1:21.9 | ways that they might be keeping us stuck. That being said, I think it's really important to add a few caveats or qualifications |
| 1:30.2 | when talking about attachment theory and attachment styles and making sure that we're |
| 1:37.3 | approaching this work in a really responsible way, right? We never want to be too simplistic or reductive about something |
| 1:46.0 | as nuanced and complicated as relationships, right? Which frankly, it's easy to overlook sometimes |
| 1:55.3 | just how very complicated relationships can be. And that makes sense. You know, you're combining two people from |
| 2:04.0 | very, potentially very different places with their own histories, their own stories, their own |
| 2:09.9 | experiences. And, you know, there's a lot more to it than just a label and a list of traits. |
| 2:17.4 | So let's dive into five things you need |
| 2:19.7 | to know about attachment styles and attachment theory. The first one is that you can be, |
| 2:25.5 | and you probably are, a combination of attachment styles. So for anyone who isn't aware of the attachment styles, I'll give you a super quick overview. |
| 2:37.9 | But basically we've got secure attachment, which is, you know, the ideal. |
... |
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