199: Pastors Prepping For Alien Disclosure + Hantavirus + Spencer Pratt Wrecks Karen Bass

Broken Simulation with Sam Tripoli and Johnny Woodard

Sam Tripoli & Johnny Woodard

News Commentary, Comedy, Stand-up, News, Politics

4.8 • 2.5K Ratings

🗓️ 11 May 2026

⏱️ 122 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Government officials are meeting with pastors to prepare them for alien disclosure, according to a dude in an Afflictionesque button-down. We discuss that, plus the Met Gala is still creepy, Karen Bass is colluding with an opponent to defeat Spencer Pratt, only rich kids are succeeding in music (but is that really new?), and RIP Ted Turner.

Get your Blue Chew Gold at bluechew.com and use the code "BROKEN" for a discount!

Get an additional 20-percent off better plants and better growing at fastgrowingtrees.com using the code "BROKEN" at checkout!

For Sam's dates visit samtripoli.com/events!

More stuff: Get episodes early, and unedited, plus bonus episodes: patreon.com/brokensimulation

Social media: Twitter: @samtripoli, @johnnywoodard Instagram: @samtripoli, @johnnyawoodard

Broken Simulation Hosts: Sam Tripoli, Johnny Woodard

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Warning. Broken simulation. Broken simulation with Sam Tripoli.
0:12.1	Yes, welcome to Johnny Wooder presents Broken Simulation starring Johnny Woodard. We are in it.
0:17.9	Dude, we are record pace in it. Fastest intro in the game.
0:22.0	Course XG is in it, dude.
0:23.7	Just creeping in the comment section.
0:25.8	Can't wait to creep.
0:27.1	Johnny, do you think it's cool that I'm a descend of Gilgamesh?
0:31.0	Does that make you horny?
0:33.4	That is the last thing I would say that makes me.
0:35.8	That is an interesting possibility.
0:40.3	Johnny, can I tell you something I discovered weird about myself?
0:45.3	I don't like my adult film star super hot.
0:49.2	The ones that are like kind of cute, a little cuter.
0:52.5	Hot topics to like weirdly disgusting facts about
0:56.3	Sam to start the show okay I won't talk about it then no I want to drill right down on this okay
1:01.6	so you just like a gross pig is what you're saying I just like the ones that are filthy
1:07.6	like the super hot ones like they care too much about being hot it's the filthy ones that are filthy. Like the super hot ones, like they care too much about being
1:12.4	hot. It's the filthy ones that are just like,
1:14.7	I'm in. No. What about Riley
1:16.5	Reed? She's,
1:17.7	I don't think she's super hot.
1:20.9	I think she's cute.
	...

Transcript will be available on the free plan in 1 days. Upgrade to see the full transcript now.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Sam Tripoli & Johnny Woodard, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Sam Tripoli & Johnny Woodard and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.