199:Can You Change Your Attachment Style? With Amir Levine

The Sabrina Zohar Show

Sabrina Zohar

Relationships, Education, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.9 • 5.5K Ratings

🗓️ 17 April 2026

⏱️ 42 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

The author of Attached, Amir Levine, M.D., is back with a new book called Secure and a whole new framework for understanding why your relationships feel the way they do. In this episode, we get into the biggest misconceptions about anxious and avoidant attachment, the truth about whether you can actually change your attachment style, why avoidants shut down instead of showing up, what a "closeness overdose" is and why it kills perfectly good relationships, and the five pillars of a secure life built around his CARP framework: consistent, available, responsive, reliable, and predictable. If you've ever been stuck in anxious hyper-vigilance, wondered how to build a secure relationship with someone more avoidant, struggled with limerence and obsessive attachment, or just wanted to stop letting your nervous system run the show, this episode gives you real, research-backed tools to start rewiring your brain toward earned secure attachment starting today. Pre-order Sabrina's book coming out October 2026,⁠ "Why Am I Like This?"⁠ If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step ⁠HERE!⁠ If you’re serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself ⁠HERE!⁠ Get Ad free ⁠HERE!⁠ Want to work with Sabrina? ⁠HERE!⁠ Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show ⁠HERE!⁠ Don't forget to follow ⁠Sabrina⁠ and ⁠The Sabrina Zohar Show⁠ on Instagram and ⁠Sabrina ⁠on TikTok! Video now available on ⁠YOUTUBE!⁠ Please support our sponsors! Treat yourself to gear that looks good, feels good, and doesn’t break the bank with Fabletics. Go to Fabletics.com/SABRINA and sign up as a VIP and get eighty percent off everything! ============================= Chapters: 0:00 Intro: Amir Levine & Secure 2:17 From Attached to Secure 3:44 Biggest Attachment Myths Debunked 6:18 The Truth About Avoidant Attachment 7:47 What Is a Closeness Overdose 11:08 Anxious Avoidant Relationships 15:23 The CARP Framework Explained 22:46 Micro Interactions Rewire Your Brain 25:32 Anxious Attachment as a Superpower 35:22 Limerence and Obsessive Attachment Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, I'm Ash.
0:01.2	I'm Lauren.
0:01.9	And I'm Ailey.
0:02.7	We're from the podcast Girls Overheard. And this week, we're sponsored by Iron Brew. We've got breaking news in Scotland, guys, that Iron Brew ice cream flavour drink is back. We love this flavour a few summers ago when it was limited edition, but it was so popular. They've brought it back for good. This is the iconic Iron Brew mixed with sweet, creamy vanilla, think nostalgic iron brew float vibes and the best
0:22.6	news yet is zero sugar. Unreal. Made in Scotland from girders just with a sweet soft side. Ice
0:28.4	cream just grew a pair of girders. You can grab iron brew ice cream in supermarkets and independent
0:33.3	shops now. Have you got the girders to go soft? Are avoidance bad people or do they just shut down
0:39.1	and are misunderstood? Are you doomed to be your attachment style for life? Like, can you actually
0:43.9	heal through the anxious attachment or are you just, that's it? You're always going to feel like this.
0:48.5	Well, today, we have the author of Attached Amir Levine in the studio to talk about all those questions
0:54.0	and more.
0:54.9	Hello, hello, hello.
0:56.7	Welcome to another episode of the Sabrina Zohar show.
0:58.9	My name is Sabrina Zohar and I am your host.
1:01.8	Welcome back, my babes.
1:03.3	We've got such a special episode.
1:05.3	Amir Levine is such an incredible human being and he is the author of Attached and his new
1:09.6	book called Secure.
1:28.5	And Amir Levine's book Att Attached started this massive conversation about attachment styles, anxious, avoidant, disorganized, are they an asshole? Do they just not like me? All of those questions answered today. And guys, I'm so excited, as always, thank you so much for being here. Please don't forget to rate and review the show. Snag Amir's book, Secure.
1:29.4	It's fucking amazing.
1:45.1	There are so many tools in there that are going to help you towards your earned secure. And if you guys need anything, I'm always here, you could work one on one, ask a question, work with me in some capacity, or just be here. There's ad free if you guys don't want to deal with the ads or please support our show sponsors who help keep this as a free resource.
1:47.5	And don't forget to rate and review and leave a comment.
	...

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