You're listening to On Attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience relationships and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to overcome insecurity and build healthy, thriving relationships.

I'm your host, relationship coach Stephanie Rigg,

and I'm really glad you're here.

Hey, everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment.

In today's episode, we are talking all about jealousy.

And in particular, why anxiously attach people

struggle so much with jealousy? Now, if you are someone with anxious attachment patterns,

you are probably very intimate with this struggle. It is really something that I'm answering

questions on several times a week, every week from students in my

healing anxious attachment course. It feels like a constant companion for a lot of us with

anxious attachment patterns. And as we're going to talk about today, that makes a whole heap of

sense because I think looking at the core wounds and beliefs of anxious attachment,

jealousy emerges as a very,

very natural consequence of feeling like we are not good enough, feeling like love can be taken

away at any moment, comparison, unworthiness, fear of rejection.

I think that all of those different expressions of our insecurity can often converge to create jealousy.

And that jealousy can be really all-consuming.

I say that as someone who used to really, really struggle with jealousy, used to be almost crippling for me.

And yet it was something that I felt so much shame around that I buried it. No one would have

known that I was wildly jealous. It's not something that I necessarily externalised and voiced

to my partners. It was just something that I carried silently and yet it was so all-consuming.

I would engage in all of the behaviours that we'll talk about a little more in today's episode,

...