#187: Is It Better to Heal While Single or in a Relationship?
On Attachment
Stephanie Rigg
4.9 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 10 May 2025
⏱️ 25 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Whether you’re single or partnered, you might find yourself wondering: Am I in the right place to do this work? There’s often an unspoken belief that there’s a “best” time to heal — and that if we’re not doing it in the ideal conditions, we’re doing it wrong.
In this episode, I’ll explore:
- The advantages and limitations of healing while single
- Why being in a relationship can accelerate your growth (but only under the right conditions)
- How emotional safety plays a key role in healing
- Why the question itself might be coming from a place of fear, shame, or comparison
- How to work with whatever season you're in and meet yourself there
Whether you're currently dating, in a relationship, or consciously taking space from romantic connection — this conversation will help you better understand the unique opportunities (and challenges) each path offers.
Highlighted Links
- Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
- Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love
Additional Resources
- Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
- Join my email list 💌
- Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
- Visit my website
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You're listening to On Attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience relationships |
| 0:10.6 | and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to overcome insecurity and build healthy, thriving relationships. |
| 0:19.8 | I'm your host, relationship coach Stephanie Rigg, |
| 0:23.1 | and I'm really glad you're here. |
| 0:28.8 | Hey, everybody. |
| 0:29.9 | Welcome back to another episode of On Attachment. |
| 0:32.8 | In today's episode, I'm answering the question of whether it is better to heal |
| 0:36.9 | while single or in a relationship. Now, this is a question that I get answering the question of whether it is better to heal while single or in a |
| 0:38.3 | relationship. Now, this is a question that I get all the time. And I get this question from |
| 0:43.8 | people who are on all ends of the spectrum. So people who are single and wondering whether |
| 0:49.1 | it would be more advantageous for them in their healing to be in a relationship. People who are in a |
| 0:55.5 | relationship and wondering, should I actually just take some time away from a relationship and be |
| 1:00.3 | single so I can really focus on this away from the triggers of my relationship. And also maybe |
| 1:06.0 | people who are casually dating, so somewhere in the middle who are wondering whether they should tap out for a while |
| 1:13.0 | and really allow themselves time and space to just do the healing work, or whether they should be |
| 1:18.1 | really focusing on putting themselves out there to do the healing work, right? So I think everyone's |
| 1:22.3 | looking for the right way to approach their healing, to maximize their results, to optimize the process, |
| 1:29.5 | all of this stuff, right? And I understand that. I know that there can be this sense, |
| 1:33.9 | particularly when it matters so much to us to want to do it the right way and to not want to |
| 1:38.0 | sabotage or compromise our ability to achieve the transformation that we're seeking. And at the same time, |
| 1:45.9 | I think we do need to acknowledge where that question is coming from in us. And I'll talk a little |
| 1:50.3 | bit more about that as we go on. You know, am I wanting to grip and control my way to this |
... |
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