186. Working Backwards

Overcome Pornography for Good

Sara Brewer

Christianity, Sexuality, Religion & Spirituality, Health & Fitness

5 • 679 Ratings

🗓️ 5 August 2024

⏱️ 11 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

The working backwards process is all about figuring out what you’re buffering from. The value lies in going further back than you might typically be used to, to get to the root of why you self-sabotaged. By uncovering the root cause of your self-sabotage, you unlock the keys to building lasting change.

I walk you through the keys to using the working backwards process effectively, and share an example from my own life of how I use this technique to understand myself better and replace self-judgment with self-compassion.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.centerforovercomingpornography.com/blog/working-backwards

Transcript

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0:00.0	You are listening to the Overcome Pornography for Good podcast, episode 186, Working Backwards.
0:07.1	Welcome to the Overcome Pornography for Good podcast where we take a research-based, trauma-informed, and results-focused approach to quitting porn.
0:17.8	This approach has been revolutionary and changed thousands and thousands of lives. I'm your host,
0:24.3	Sarah Brewer. Hey everyone, I want to talk about a cool little skill here that is going to help us a lot
0:31.7	when it comes to self-sabotage. You know, we can really look at it and gather some data. A lot of times, you know,
0:39.1	when we're looking at buffering activities, so we slipped up with porn, we buffered with porn.
0:44.3	When I say that, just in case you all don't know what that means, it's a, we, we use the porn
0:49.7	to escape some emotion or we used whatever it was, right, over eating, over drinking to escape
0:56.2	something that's going on in our life. So working backwards is just the process of figuring out
1:00.5	what it is that you're buffering from. But we want to go a little bit further than we maybe
1:04.8	typically go. Sometimes what happens is, you know, okay, so I, let's say I view porn and then I want
1:10.5	to look and see, what was I buffering from? Well, so I, let's say I view porn and then I want to look and see,
1:11.0	what was I buffering from? Well, I was feeling bored in the moment. So great, that's what we
1:17.7	are feeling in the moment, but let's go back even further. Let's go back what was happening
1:23.4	right before this and what was happening right before that and before that and before that and
1:28.1	what were my thoughts and my feelings in all these different moments throughout the day leading up to
1:32.9	this instead of just looking at that one moment when we self-sabotaged. Let's go back and back and
1:39.6	and really kind of flesh out and see what we can find here. So here's an example. Just from last night,
1:45.6	last night it was late. It was 10.30. I was grumpy. I was kind of exhausted. And what I had done is
1:53.2	I was chewing gum. Chewing gum helps me when I'm kind of agitated because I can feel my jaw.
1:58.9	It just gets, you know, kind of wants to grind.
2:01.0	And so I just chew gum. And I was chewing gum and then I threw the gum away and I was so thirsty.
	...

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