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The Sabrina Zohar Show

179: Situationships, 'Going With The Flow', and Why You're Still Single

The Sabrina Zohar Show

Sabrina Zohar

Society & Culture, Education, Self-improvement, Relationships, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.94.8K Ratings

🗓️ 26 December 2025

⏱️ 39 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What does “going with the flow” actually mean in dating, and why does it so often lead to situationships, resentment, and self-abandonment? In the final episode of the Clarity Series, Sabrina breaks down how passivity, fear of asking for more, and chasing chemistry over availability keep people stuck in almost-relationships. This episode explores the psychological and nervous system reasons we suppress our needs, tolerate ambiguity, and confuse flexibility with emotional safety. You’ll learn the difference between dating with intention versus dating from control or fear, how to identify your real non-negotiables, why situationships persist, and what it actually looks like to stop auditioning for love and start choosing yourself. If you’re tired of waiting to be chosen, afraid of being “too much,” or stuck in cycles of undefined connections, this episode gives you the framework to leave self-abandonment behind and date with clarity, confidence, and self-trust. If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step  HERE! Get Ad free HERE!Want to work with Sabrina? HERE!Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show HERE!Don't forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on Instagram and Sabrina on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE! Please support our sponsors! Head to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code SABRINA to get UP TO $300 off today! AirDoctor comes with a 30-day money back guarantee, plus a 3-year warranty Right now, Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their Signature Makeup Bag with your first order at MeritBeauty.com Get started with Stich Fix today at stitchfix.com/sabrina to get $20 off your first order—and they’ll waive your styling fee. Get 15% off OneSkin with the code SABRINA at https://www.oneskin.co/SABRINA #oneskinpod ============================= Chapters 00:00 – Why “Going With the Flow” Is Quiet Self-Abandonment 03:20 – The Clarity Series Recap: From Rumination to Intention 06:40 – Why We Suppress Our Needs to Avoid Being Left 10:05 – Situationships: How Ambiguity Keeps You Stuck 14:45 – Chemistry vs Availability (And Why We Choose Wrong) 18:55 – Intention vs Control in Dating 23:30 – Non-Negotiables: What You Actually Walk Away Over 27:10 – Limerence, Fantasy Relationships, and Dopamine Loops 31:45 – What to Leave Behind and What to Bring Into 2026 35:10 – Tool of the Week: Dating With Real Intention Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Based on a remarkable true story.

0:02.0

I need something big, I need something new.

0:04.0

Song Sung Blue is filled with love and laughter.

0:07.0

Bad things happen.

0:08.0

I just want to sing and shine.

0:10.0

With fantastic performances from Hugh Jackman and Kate Hudson.

0:14.0

If you're there with me, I am not afraid anymore.

0:16.0

If you've ever had a shop, pal, this is it.

0:19.0

It's a joyful crowd pleaser with a ton of heart.

0:22.8

It's good.

0:26.5

Song Song Blue in Cinema's New Year's Day.

0:29.0

Book tickets now.

0:30.1

Do you know what going with flow actually means?

0:32.0

It means you're too scared to ask for what the fuck it is that you want.

0:34.6

It means you're abandoning yourself before they even get the chance to. It means you're in a situation ship calling it, keeping it casual when really you're just terrified that if you say what you actually need, they'll leave. And maybe they will. Maybe they will, but at least you'll stop wasting your fucking time because going with the flow isn't intentional. Where's the flow going? Are there snacks there? Will I be overdressed? Will I have anybody that I know? We've got to cut

0:55.5

the bullshit and start showing up differently, baby. Well, hello, hello, hello. And welcome to

1:01.5

another episode of the Sabrina Zohar show. Episode four of four, my babes. It's the final episode of

1:06.8

the Clarity series on Dating with Intention and the last episode of 2025. You guys, we did it. We fucking made it. Guys, please don't forget to comment, rate, and review and share with a friend. Please, please, it means the world. And guys, you know what? Let's get right on into it. But before we do, I want to say thank you. I want to thank you guys for fucking everything. Thank you for being here. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for sticking by my side. This show is only here because of you guys. It would only be successful because of you. And I am so fucking grateful. And guys, don't forget, stick around because at the end of every new episode, we're giving you a tool of the week. And it's something that you can actually use as we head into the new year. All right, babes. This episode is one I've been building to, because everything we've talked about in this series comes down to this. Are you going to keep being passive in your love life or are you going to show up with intention? It's so fucking important. So let's talk about what we've talked about. Episode one, we talked about ruminating versus processing. How have you been replaying the same story thinking you're healing, but you're actually just stuck in the loop? The difference between thinking about your feelings and actually feeling them, super important, go back and listen to it if you haven't. Episode two, we talked about waiting for them to come back. Do they always come back? No, they don't always fucking come back. And how that waiting isn't to hope it's actually avoidance. It's you organizing your entire healing process around someone who's not even in the room. And it's not you wanting to grieve because grief means it's really over. It's trying to avoid that and hoping that this person's going to come back and choose you. Well, did that work in your childhood? And then episode three, we talked about the myth of being fully healed before you date, that there's no finish line, some healing can only really happen in relationships. And, you know, even in therapy yesterday, our therapist said, romantic relationships hold up the mirror more than anything else because they show you the mirror of the work that you still need to do, and they show you the mirror of the version of you that already did that work. And I think it's really beautiful. And we talked about how you build self-trust by keeping promises to yourself, not by hiding until you feel ready. And now episode four. All of that work means absolutely fucking nothing if you get back out there and immediately abandon yourself again. And if you say I'm just going with the flow because you're too scared to have standards, if you keep letting someone keep you in a situation ship

3:10.8

for eight fucking months because asking for more feels too vulnerable, if you perform to be chill

3:15.4

while slowly dying inside, this is where we put it all together. This is the episode about

3:19.6

what are we leaving in 2025. And I'll start. I'll start because I think it's important for me to take accountability

3:27.6

and ownership this whole year for me has been a woe is me what's going on why why why me why me why me

...

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