You're listening to On Attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience

relationships and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to overcome

insecurity and build healthy, thriving relationships.

I'm your host, relationship coach Stephanie Rigg,

and I'm really glad you're here. Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment.

In today's episode, we are talking all about needs and specifically what to do if you're in a

relationship where you're in a relationship where

you're not getting your needs met and it's leaving you feeling unfulfilled or disconnected or

unsatisfied and maybe even questioning the relationship as a whole. So this is one that, well,

I think most everyone will experience at some point or another, but particularly folks

with anxious attachment tend to have a really, really tough time with everything to do with

needs, frankly. There's knowing what your needs are identifying them, voicing them,

advocating for them and getting them met. It feels like from start to finish, it's a bit of a

minefield and

can trigger a lot of our fears and wounds and insecurities. And oftentimes we go about getting

a need met in a way that's maybe ineffective. We do that from a wounded place. And in an effort to

protect ourselves against the vulnerability and the riskiness of putting ourselves out

there and asking for a need to be met, we can almost encase our requests in blame or

criticism or demand because that feels a little less edgy than really showing our more tender,

vulnerable parts. And I do have an episode from a while back that I'll link in the show notes,

which is around reasons why maybe you're not getting your needs met.

And that episode talks a little bit more about different approaches that you might take

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