178 SelfWork: How to Safely Talk About Pain from Your Past
The SelfWork Podcast
Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD
4.8 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 1 May 2020
⏱️ 25 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
How do you set up a situation where you can safely talk about something painful from your past? Today’s episode was sparked by a listener telling me that she’d been sexually abused, and is now dissociating during sex with her very loving husband. He's aware of her history, but hasn’t a clue about what she’s truly experiencing. How could she open up to him? I'll be going over seven steps to that will help to create as much safety as possible for that emotional conversation.
I want to welcome BetterHelp as a new sponsor to SelfWork. I'm excited about the possibility of my audience benefitting from their service and they have a special offer coming your way!
The listener email is from a woman who's identified with perfectly hidden depression, but is quite concerned about finding a therapist that will maintain her confidentiality.
Important Links mentioned in the episode:
RAINN's sexual abuse crisis line
Episode 007 on the pros and cons of telling about sexual abuse
The Body Keeps the Score: Bessel Van Der Kolk
Courage to Heal Workbook by Laura Davis
Courage to Heal Workbook for Partners called Allies for Healing
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.
And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is self-work and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford. |
| 0:13.0 | At self-work, we'll discuss psychological and emotional issues common in today's world |
| 0:19.0 | and what to do about them. |
| 0:20.0 | I'm Dr. Margaret and self-work is a podcast dedicated to you taking just a few minutes today for your own self-work |
| 0:33.6 | Hi and welcome to self-work. This is Dr. Margaret Rutherford. I'm a clinical psychologist out of Fable, Arkansas, and I began self-work three and a half years ago in |
| 0:38.6 | order to reach people who are very comfortable with psychological emotional issues |
| 0:42.3 | and simply want to delve more deeply. |
| 0:45.3 | To those of you who have been initially diagnosed with depression or anxiety and are looking for |
| 0:48.8 | answers, maybe you're having relationship problems that you just can't seem to work through, but there's also |
| 0:54.2 | a third group, and I've actually heard from many of you the group that wouldn't necessarily |
| 0:58.6 | darken the door of a therapist, but is interested enough to listen to a podcast. |
| 1:03.6 | So welcome to all of you. |
| 1:05.2 | And I have a special welcome to today's sponsor, |
| 1:07.8 | Better Help, the number one online provider |
| 1:10.4 | for video text or simply talk therapy designed to help you through whatever |
| 1:14.2 | self-work is important for you. More later about better help. Today's episode |
| 1:19.3 | was actually sparked by a listener telling me that she'd been sexually abused and she's now |
| 1:24.1 | dissociating which means her mind is taking her someplace else and trying to |
| 1:28.4 | protect her but she's dissociating during sexual intercourse with her |
| 1:31.9 | very loving husband who knows about the abuse but has a clue about what she's truly experiencing |
| 1:37.3 | How could she open up to him? We'll be focusing on both revealing abuse, but also emotions or experiences you've so far kept |
| 1:44.6 | to yourself. But you also know that perhaps that secret is having an effect on you and |
... |
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