Welcome to the Shaline show. Shaline is a New York Times best-selling author celebrity fitness trainer and obsessed with helping you live your dream life.

My name is Shaline Johnson and if you're new to me, what I do, my obsession, my priority, my job, if you will, my expertise is helping people find clarity in their business and in their life.

And today I want to share with you a story about disappointment because I had a major disappointment this morning and it took me a minute to get out of my funk.

So my husband's birthday is this week too. He needs a new vehicle and I'm the car girl. As you know, I owned my own car lot. It's how he put myself through college. I flipped used vehicles. I love cars.

I love engines. I love studying about cars. I love negotiating the sales price on cars. I love that like I enjoy it. I love cars.

So Brett's in need of a new vehicle. His birthday is around the corner and I decided I would surprise him by buying him a new car and surprise him on his birthday.

And so I've been working on this for about a month and working with this guy that I always work with and he knew it was a surprise too.

So you know, and I told him, hey, this has got to be on the DL and there are a couple of times where texting options and prices back and forth where I was like, I can't reply right now because he's with me.

And then one of the doors wasn't opening, which is a probably a pretty simple fix, but I know my husband and I knew he put in a phone call to this guy immediately and say like, hey, let's look for a new car.

So I said, hey, Brett is going to probably contact you this week about getting a new car. And when he does, I want you to say to him, hey, a new model comes out in about two weeks and we should probably wait.

And I know my husband, he would be like, okay, cool. And sure enough, after that incident with this door not opening, Brett called our connection with the vehicle and said, I need a new vehicle.

Meanwhile, I do know that he was getting quite frustrated with me because I am a girl who doesn't pay sticker price. I like to do my research. I like to be well informed. I like to know all of my options and I like to negotiate.

So I was in no rush to accept the first offer. So when Brett reached out to him today, our connection told them, I'll have the car there for you on Monday.

I was so mad. I was spitting bullets and nails and throwing punches.

My surprise. I was so mad. I was really mad. But more so, I was disappointed. I was like, dude, dude, how could you do that?

So your first step is no matter how angry and upset you are, just know that it is human nature to assume the worst, right? So my little brain said, oh, I see what you're doing. You're thinking I'm a woman and that I don't know anything about cars or that I don't have the ability to write the check or make the decision.

I see what you're doing. You're thinking of me as the little wifey like that's where my head went. So our first instinct is to think the worst and to assume ill intent on the part of the person who's disappointed us.

True or not true? True. Yeah, that's kind of our go to. I was like, oh, really? So like when someone disappoints us, our brain goes, oh, I know why you did this because you're a mean awful terrible person.

And you don't know what an amazingly perfectly awesome person I am. And like clearly that's why you've disappointed me. But I'm going to allow you that moment. Like I'm going to allow you that mental temper tantrum and that childish thought. I'm going to allow it.

Okay, because it's fine. And it's okay to have that moment in your head. Just don't take it to social media. And worst of all, don't take it to the person who you're having that thought about because it's probably not true.

My best advice to you is to have that temper tantrum in your head and then realize I should probably investigate this. You can disagree with me. But I believe that most of the world comes from a good place. They don't always have common sense.

They don't always do things the way we want them to. But I do believe that most of the world comes from a good place. They just mess up because they don't follow our plan. Right. And when people don't follow our plan, that's when we're disappointed.

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