Welcome back to the savvy psychologist. I'm Dr. Ellen Hendrickson and every week I'll help

you meet life's challenges with evidence-based research, a sympathetic ear, and zero judgment.

They say, patience is a virtue, but sometimes we wish leaving us alone would be a virtue, or not asking stupid questions, or paying

attention the first time we explain things.

You get the picture.

Along these lines, listener Paul from Australia wrote in and asked how he could cultivate his patients.

Paul is visually impaired and often gets questions or offers of help from strangers.

At first, the questions were welcome conversation starters

and the offers of help were charming. But after years and years, as you might imagine,

it's all started to get a bit annoying. Oblivious questions, Miss the Mark offers of help, and

awkwardly alarmist people create interpersonal tension that Paul is left to deal with. So he asks, how can I be more patient? How can I be less

annoyed when these people are just curious or trying to help? Now Paul's question actually applies to all of us. We all have that

thing that annoys us. We all have the pet peeve to which we're super sensitive and

when it happens we overreact. We might yell, get sarcastic, roll

our eyes, or use a contemptuous tone of voice, none of which are helpful and all of which

make things worse.

For me, it's my kids yelling,

mommy, come here quick.

I think I'm responding to crisis,

only to have them ask for more peanut butter pretzels,

which, I might add, they could have easily gotten for themselves.

For you, it might be your partner leaving hair in the drain, your kid's nightly bedtime delay

...