All right, this is episode 170 of the Regular Features Podcast.

It's Christmas, well, depending on when you listen to this, it's Christmas Eve or after.

And unfortunately, none of us could get together to be with each other,

which is probably the worst thing that's ever happened on Christmas to anybody, I think.

So I'm here in my house in front of a fire.

I'm going to pop open a bottle of champagne because as I said it was Christmas.

I'm just going to pull myself some champagne into... I don't have any champagne flutes so it's going in a mug.

So that's why I'm drinking out of just to set the mood.

And we've each done a Christmas story or in Matt's case, he's done a little song.

That's coming up later on.

So if you want to listen, why not pop open a bottle of champagne or Prosecco or that thing?

Is it Carver Brute?

That people... Bucks Fizz is like 289

in Tesco I found out the other day

because I bought some. So yeah, pop open

whatever you've got and let us

do a Christmas in your ears.

Regular features. Regular features. Regular features, regular features, regular features, regular features road.

I was driving home for Christmas on the American interstate freeway.

Through rain was heavy and wet as my heart. You see, my baby and I hadn't

been seeing eye to eye of late, and the more I held her close, the more it seemed she melted away.

I guess my mind wasn't fully on the road that fateful night. I was thinking about the last fight

...