You're listening to On Attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience relationships

and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to overcome insecurity

and build healthy, thriving relationships.

I'm your host, relationship coach Stephanie Rigg,

and I'm really glad you're here.

Hey, everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment.

In today's episode, we are talking all about self-sabotage.

So what it is, why we do it, and most importantly, how we can shift those patterns so that we can move ourselves more towards

the lives, the relationships that we truly desire. So self-sabotage is one of those areas

where I think most of us would be able

to raise our hands and acknowledge that there have been times in our lives where we've said

we want something and we've really meant that. It might be our deepest desire to build a

healthy relationship to only go for people who we know are good for us or maybe it's

something totally separate from relationships. Maybe it's work related or even a health or

fitness goals. We've all got something like that where we've really wanted something and yet

for some reason we've really struggled to take the steps needed

to move ourselves closer to that thing that we say we want. And I think that when we go through

particularly repeated cycles of setting a goal or setting an intention or just knowing deep down

that we really yearn for something and then not only struggling to take steps

towards it but maybe engaging in behaviours that are directly in opposition to that thing

to then look at ourselves and say why do I always do this? Why do I always self-sabotage?

And oftentimes that can come with a good dose of shame and a sense of brokenness.

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