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Regular Features

164: Life's a Quiche!

Regular Features

Regular Features

Comedy

4.9546 Ratings

🗓️ 12 November 2015

⏱️ 42 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Quiche, get it? Just like that saying "life's a bitch!" but with quiche. What do you mean that doesn't work? I saw a towel that said "life's a beach!" once so if they can do that, we're sure as shit doing this.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hello and welcome to episode 164 of the regular features podcast.

0:05.4

I'm Steve Hogarty.

0:07.5

Interrupting is...

0:09.8

Interrupt.

0:10.5

Joe, Scrabbles, Clive.

0:12.9

Are we started?

0:14.2

Yeah, come on.

0:15.4

Get in the game.

0:16.3

I only interrupting because I thought you were practicing.

0:18.7

I'm not in the game.

0:20.3

I had a fucking nightmare game here.

0:38.4

Why, how? Well, because I was really hungry. And, yeah, the end. I ate a cat. No, I was really, I was really hungry. And I thought, I thought you were going to be a really cookie. I thought, I'll just grab something really quick. but I bought a sandwich for lunch and I thought well I'm not going to buy another sandwich

0:39.6

madness

0:40.6

given I thought you were going to be here really quickly. I thought, I'll just grab something really quick. But I bought a sandwich for lunch, and I thought, well, I'm not going to buy another sandwich.

0:40.2

Madness.

0:41.2

Giving all your money to a big sandwich. Exactly. So I thought, well, I need to go beers for us anyway. So I went into Sainsbury's and there was a keesh there. And I thought, oh, I just buy a keesh. I like a keech, but like a mini one, a handlable one.

0:52.5

Handleable.

0:53.3

Is that one the bullet points on the quiche?

0:56.4

It's got grooves built in.

0:57.6

It's handlable. There's a say that on the bullet points on the quiche. It's got groove spilt in. It's handlable. Very handleable. I know this is going to sound weird, but like it felt like it was smaller before I took it out with a packet. I know that doesn't make any sense. Optical illusion. With hands. One of those damn optical illusion pieces. So when I went outside, I thought, I'll just eat this a bit quick on the way to yours. But when I took it out, I thought, I'm not going to be able to eat this and walk at the same time. It's that big. I want to stress, it wasn't like a full-size keats. You can't eat it? Walk?'t walk? Were you dragging it behind you? Do you all, like with big head movements? See you just end up head behind it as you're coming along? No, but I thought I'm not going to be able to eat this and not get it everywhere. And then, like, because we're in Fringley Park, that's where you live. Gav! Don't tell the crazy people.

1:46.7

We're in Finsie Park.

1:50.3

And I've got an ex-girlfriend who lives around here, and I thought, I haven't seen her

...

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