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The Basement Yard

#157 - Selling My Tears On eBay

The Basement Yard

Santagato Studios

Comedy, Improv

4.913.5K Ratings

🗓️ 1 October 2018

⏱️ 77 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Noah Cyrus is selling her tears on eBay for 12K... I wonder how much I can get for mine. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome back to the basement yard ladies and gentlemen by the way just want to point out that we are now having full videos on YouTube YouTube

0:07.3

YouTube comm slash the basement yard so if you want to watch this shit go watch it run out of air right now. Okay, I got you go watch it at

0:13.8

YouTube comm slash the basement yard. We're gonna have full videos in that bitch. Oh you want the whole episode? You got it. All right we listened. Okay. We love you. God.

0:24.0

Yeah, I really ran out of air while doing that. That's all right. That was weird. Did you go to the gym today? No, I have no having no

0:30.2

really excuse. No, I didn't have random bouts of like I can't breathe right now. Every day of my life. Well, I mean, I know you got like anxiety and

0:38.8

I'm just asking. No, yeah, what's and that is a combination for the ages. I was talking about yeah, suck that up right now. I got you suck on it.

0:49.3

Shake it up. Oh, yeah, yeah, is there smoke that comes out now?

0:56.9

Why are you holding it in?

1:01.4

You're supposed to what does that do does it make you breathe better now? So when you have asthma, the air the airways they become inflamed

1:09.7

ease like easier than normal peoples so this keeps you it

1:15.0

excuse me sir. So you can't sleep here. No, go ahead. No, no, no, it opens up. It helps the inflammation in your breathing. Sir.

1:28.1

Sir, thank you. It helps. It helps the inflammation in your breathing tubes. Okay, that makes sense. I know I did something. It wasn't just doing it for no reason. Yeah.

1:37.0

But anyway, I wanted to start off this episode by talking about something serious because you know, we talked about serious things. I'm like, I think it was last episode of the episode before that.

1:44.7

And people enjoyed us having serious conversation. Yeah, yeah, we're talking about crazy stuff. Yeah, you know, but the brains we have brains. Yeah, you know,

1:54.1

what is that you use to appreciate? Yeah, not great brains. If we're using temperside of our brains, I'm around like six. I would say I would say six is high.

2:03.7

I think that 10% of your brain thing is bullshit, by the way. No, I think it scientifically proven. There's no way that we only use 10% of our brains. There's no way.

2:14.6

What is that? I mean, percent like you got lobes and shit all over here. You can tell me this whole thing.

2:21.0

The double the blah blah and got it whatever it is. You're gonna tell me. I'll tell you what that's only 10% of our brain. You got lobes all over this thing. I'll tell you what.

2:30.4

That description of your brain sounds like you use in less than 10%. Yeah, lobes. We do. I'm gobbling. Dottas. Bell in the back. We do. Gargoyle. We do. I understand.

2:42.1

So anyway, our bell and shit. Yeah, I don't know. I think it's like the neck. The frontal lobe. I think it's your speech.

2:52.2

You don't know anything about that thing. You could be like right brain to the left brain. Isn't that a thing?

2:58.0

I don't know. Yeah, you could be like a right brain person or a left brain person. I really hope I'm right about most of this. I think you sound like you're using 1% your brain.

...

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