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The Basement Yard

#156 - The Secret Life Of Sucking Toes

The Basement Yard

Santagato Studios

Comedy, Improv

4.913.5K Ratings

🗓️ 24 September 2018

⏱️ 73 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Danny Sux Toes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome back to the basement yard today. It's me and Danny. Danny's got his fucking feet up on the table apparently you think that's cool. What I guess what is your place now I guess. Oh,

0:11.0

and you got sneakers on not only do you have your feet on the table. You got sneakers on your breaking all kinds of rules here.

0:17.5

The brand new this isn't this isn't nom there's rules.

0:21.0

The brand new I don't know about it to me. Isn't that bad luck? You don't put brand new shoes on the table. No, I've never heard that ever.

0:28.5

I've heard it. You don't put shoes on the table. I don't know brand new shoes. I can understand shoes like you don't put shoes on the table. That could be bad luck.

0:37.5

Brand new shoes like when is that rarely happens? I don't make them up. I just enforce them. All right. Now please. This is distracting. It's driving me crazy. What?

0:46.5

Just please. I'm losing it over here. All right. What about one? No, because now what I'm thinking about is the stretch in your hamstring. It looks very uncomfortable.

0:55.5

I think you're going to pull a muscle halfway through this thing. It's better for my back though. What's better for your back? Hey, listen, I was sitting waiting around this place all day. All right.

1:03.5

Sitting around waiting. What'd you say? I would sit in around waiting around all day. Sitting and waiting. Sitting and waiting. My back is stiff. So excuse me. Wow, you had a tough day. It's not that it was a tough day. I have a bad disc in my back. You have no bad disc. Yes, I do. You got server-soubled discs. I have a herniated disc. You have nothing.

1:24.5

You want to see paperwork? I want to see I would show me the disc. Which one? What's it called? Which disc? Are they numbered? L5S1. Thank you. That's like a fucking code for Grand Theft Auto for unlimited guns. Look it up. L1R2, would you say? Look it up. L5S1. L5S1? Google it.

1:42.5

First of all, even if it's true, fuck your disc. Please get that goddamn shoe off the table. Haters. And also you're wearing a ton of adidas right now. I don't know what that is. First of all, I'm gonna cross my leg now. I thought just open this episode. I'm just leveling it up. Just leveling it up for some reason. Employer of the year. I'm not even upset. I'm not even mad. I don't know why I'm doing this. I think you're just jealous of my sneakers. I am. I want those.

2:12.5

Could you just say that? Yeah, I want them. But I do want them off the table as well. All right. You know what I'm saying? Thank you. Thank you. See that? Oh, you remember when you just scumbag thing the dirt?

2:24.5

You know, it's the worst. You know when you were younger and you stepped on someone shoes to like, yo, you got to clean it. Yeah, I do remember that. I was the most disrespectful shit. That's basically like, yo, suck my fucking ass. Yeah. And you did it. I don't think I've ever cleaned anyone's shoes. Fuck no.

2:42.5

I think I said that to someone and they were like, dude, I was like, yeah, I'm not I'm not big enough. That's a hard. I'll move right now. Yeah, I was super young. I only had one pair of joins in my entire life. Really?

2:51.5

14s the red and white. Yeah, I remember. I had them. My dad beat the shit out of me because I didn't wear them to my basketball games. Like, why the fuck did I buy them? If you're not gonna. You were trying to stay fresh. Yeah, I was trying to get after it. I didn't want to crease them. I was walking like a duck. No. But I do wear a lot of Adidas. Yeah, I don't know what's going on. I mean, you have a hat. You have the pants. You have the shoes.

3:12.5

The guy basically everything and the socks sock game strong. Here's the thing. It's a big. You coordinated everything with Adidas on purpose. No, I just like to stay fresh. Big boy fresh.

3:26.0

Bbf. What happened today? I don't know. But I'll tell you this. Did you get the lot of this or something? I don't know about. No, no, I just I do quite well. Yeah, you do. I do well. Yeah. But the reason I wear Adidas. I love wearing Adidas is because they're big boy friendly. They got a good plus eye section. Yeah, they're better than Nike. Like Nike. Shout out to Nike. Just do it. I'm down. I bought a pair of all

3:56.0

black Nike Air Max 270s in support of the movement. I did. And I showed him. Remember I sent them to you. Yeah, you were like I guarantee you bought a shoe today. And I sent you the picture. Yeah.

4:10.7

And their stuff just runs very small. They're like for the real athlete. Yeah, the casual wear is way better Adidas. Yeah, I guess so. I guess so. It makes sense. Then in H&M, big guy friendly. Big guy friendly. Big guy friendly. All right.

4:25.6

Lot of elastic. Get my stretch out. Also, did you see Adidas? They there was some article with some shit going around on Twitter. They're making a shoe for this girl.

4:37.6

Who's got like 12 toes. Oh, yeah. Yes, I did see that. I don't like I don't remember much about it. I'm losing my voice here.

4:47.2

Sorry. Is that huh? Yeah, I didn't know where to run like a girl or keep going with the fuck. Yeah, it's like you'll go for a pass real quick. No, you just

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