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UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone

156. Victim Blaming & Self-Shaming

UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone

Kara Loewentheil

Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Philosophy, Society & Culture, Mental Health

4.65.6K Ratings

🗓️ 22 October 2020

⏱️ 27 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

A lot of people think that “your thoughts create your feelings” means they should blame themselves if they’re struggling, even if they’re dealing with the effects of trauma. Listen to this episode to learn how to ACCEPT what you’re feeling rather than judge it, and why applying this radical acceptance to your life will set you free.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/156

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The Future Coach Podcast is Here!

The Future Coach: How to Succeed as a Life Coach Today, Tomorrow, and Beyond is finally here. Every other week, you'll hear practical advice about becoming a coach, improving your coaching skills, and antidotes to the most common concerns, questions, and brain drama that come up with this work, whether you're just starting out or you're years into your career. If you want to find out more, you can find it anywhere you listen to podcasts and hit that follow button.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome to UnFuck Your Brain. The only podcast that teaches you how to use psychology, feminism, and coaching to rewire your brain

0:16.3

and get what you want in life.

0:18.6

And now here's your host, Harvard Law School grad, Feminist Rockstar, and Master Coach,

0:24.7

Kara Loyenthyle.

0:26.0

Hello my chickens, how are you? I am awesome, but my head is spinning a little bit.

0:38.0

I've been apartment hunting the last couple of weeks here in New York because I decided now that you know I run a business with employees and I have to stay home 24 7 because it's a pandemic and I thankfully live in one of the jurisdictions that is actually trying to handle it correctly, you know, it might be nice to

0:54.9

an apartment where my desk is not the main item in my living room.

0:58.3

So I think, you know, those of y'all who don't live in like New York, Paris, Hong Kong, or

1:04.2

or maybe, you know, maybe San Francisco also,

1:07.5

probably don't really understand how small New York City apartments are.

1:11.4

I think my entire apartment right now is about the size of a master bedroom

1:15.3

and bath in like a new build suburban home. So it's been super fun but it's been such an interesting

1:22.1

process because of all the thoughts it brings up around money and value and even identity.

1:28.5

And I think apartment hunting or house shopping or whatever you, you know, whatever you do is like trying on all these different identities and different lives that you might have.

1:37.0

And it's such an interesting example of what I teach about how once you clear out your unmanaged thoughts, you actually will know what you want.

1:45.3

It's really common that my students learn the basics of thought work and they're so used to basing

1:51.1

their preferences on running away from things that they think will make

1:54.5

them unhappy or towards what they think will make them happy.

1:58.5

And then they're very confused when we sort of start to take away that kind of motivation.

2:03.2

They don't know, they haven't experienced what it's like to want or prefer something

2:07.9

without believing that you need it to stop feeling bad or start feeling good.

2:12.4

So then they think that if they aren't running away... to stop feeling bad or start feeling good.

...

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