153. I'm A Bustling Beehive

The Story Must Be Told

The Last Podcast Network

Arts

4.8 • 530 Ratings

🗓️ 2 August 2022

⏱️ 18 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Lotions, candles, and hand sanitizers: turn me into these when I die. I gotta BASK in seasonal scents, and if you give me a sales event? Ohhh you can digest me in your mechanical colon for a WEEK, dear overlord. Become a part of the loving corporate body! Invocation Pastor Andrew’s Coerced Testimony Liturgical Reading: I’m a Bustling Beehive Closing Statements The Story resumes its truth in two weeks. Will you be there to witness? Your answer: YES. MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey there, congregants.
0:07.0	Hey, congregants, hello.
0:09.0	Hi, can you hear me?
0:11.0	Okay, I can hear you, but your video is none.
0:14.0	Wait a minute, am I muted?
0:16.0	Okay, I can see your video, but I can't hear you now.
0:19.0	Can you unmute? Okay, let's try this out.
0:23.9	The story must be told?
0:24.9	The story must be told.
0:27.9	Perfect.
0:30.9	Woo!
0:31.9	Ha ha ha!
0:32.9	Thanks for bearing with me and letting me call in over Zoom to preside over this week's
0:36.4	service.
0:37.4	As you can see,
0:38.5	I'm calling in from the Dayton Mall Food Court in Miamisburg, Ohio, because, well, due to the
0:44.5	recession, I've had to take on a second job as a shopping center security specialist, or more
0:50.1	commonly known as a mall cop. I took on a job as a mall cop.
0:56.0	And, uh, trust me, being a mall cop isn't nearly as hilarious or entertaining as the 2009 film, Paul Blark,
1:03.0	Malcop, starring A-Less Celebrity Congregant, Kevin James.
1:06.0	And don't get me wrong, there are some elements of the profession that he gets spot on in the film.
1:11.6	I mean, we're talking peak James at the top of this game, but
	...

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