151. Two Testicles in the Indiana Clay

The Story Must Be Told

The Last Podcast Network

Arts

4.8 • 530 Ratings

🗓️ 8 July 2022

⏱️ 33 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Meiosis is the process by which cells cut themselves in half to make halfling children wriggling alone in the dark incomplete forever. A farming accident is the process by which Sal lost his danglin’ nuts. Learn how the two are CONNECTED. Invocation Petitions for the Newly Greastised Liturgical Reading: Two Testicles in the Indiana Clay Conclusions You will always seek the Story, and in two weeks, your efforts will yield F-F-F-FRUIT. MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Welcome, dear congregants, to the unveiling of our state-of-the-art greistismal font.
0:30.6	It's great, it's Owey, and it's gooey, and it's ready for some greistisms, so we might officially welcome new congregants into the church of the story.
0:43.8	The story must be told.
0:48.0	The story must be told.
0:51.5	Don't worry, congregants.
0:53.8	You'll get used to the stinging chemical smell. And to our new congregants,
1:00.2	entering the grease pit, a word of warning. You might want to bite your lip and count to 10,
1:07.6	because this little stinker is bubbling at a piping hot, 125 degrees Fahrenheit.
1:14.6	If it burns, it means it's working. Pastor Andrew, let's kick things off. Why don't you bless
1:23.0	these fine folks and dunk them in that holy crease. Oh, thanks, Brother Reed.
1:29.3	Our first congregate here is Laura B.
1:32.3	Laura, the next time you chew gum,
1:35.3	swallow it.
1:36.3	Take another piece and swallow it again.
1:39.3	Repeat, repeat, repeat,
1:41.3	until a little sticky baby grows in your fertile gut.
1:46.0	May its birth be painless.
1:48.0	You will name the child, Big League Chew.
1:53.0	Up next, I'd like to welcome Christine R.
1:57.0	Christine, everyone you know and hold dear is an imposter.
2:01.8	Even me.
2:04.4	This has all been an elaborate ruse.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from The Last Podcast Network, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of The Last Podcast Network and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.