Hey there, congregants, take a seat, yeah.

Hey there, congregants.

Take a seat, yeah.

Put your little keysters down.

We have a real exciting service today because I know how much this generation loves to hashtag hustle.

I know we live to hashtag grind.

Time is money, baby.

And I willfully and gladly, like so many of you gathered here,

labor over 40 hours every week in this fine country,

just so I don't die if I get sick.

The story must be told.

The story must be told. The story must be told. Now, our first quarter earnings report came in, and I must say, great job, everyone.

Just like how the Green Bay Packers are owned by its fans, we're the only church owned by its congregants,

so you might get a piece of that

cheddar if margins are up and if they stay up. But let's just see here. Okay, starting from

the top, Cro-Croa stocks are up 2.3%. Wow. Big shout out to Devon there for spearheading

the Just Croix campaign. Great work, pal. Holy Greases are going gangbusters overseas, which rules. That means we're making a splash in the international market. And we're seeing a return of 7% on Holy Greases. That's huge. Unfortunately, our merch isn't performing like we wanted it to and we're down 3%.

But, congregants, these are just numbers.

Numbers that might mean we can afford to spread the wealth around a little.

But hold tight.

Before we discuss that, I'd like Brother Reed to read us a psalm.

Brother Reed. read us a psalm. Brother Reed.

...