Oh, hello, I seem to have forgotten what time it is. Could you please tell her what time it is?

Of course I can. It's time for regular features.

Good evening and welcome to episode 143 of the regular features podcast and tonight we're

joined by a special fish.

Oh fish are special.

That's, that's not true, Stephen.

What's so special about this fish?

Is it the fact that I own it and you take an ownership of it?

It's really big. And you've rubbed off on that fish a little, Steve, I find. It's slightly powdery because it's rubberised. You've been rubbing off on this fish, Stephen? It's a lovely fish. Good Lord. So, maybe if I was a reader at this point, I'd be frustrated by the talk of a fish.

Fish that I for one cannot see. Can you not? Well, it's a large rubber fish that looks quite similar to a Billy Bass, and for some reason Steve had it his room, so I just picked it up and started it up playing with it. So I told you to go with Gav to the shops, and you sold him and bought back a fish. It's Jack of the Beanstalk. Are we in an underwhelming Christmas Panto now?

Is that where we've ended up with our career? and you sold him and bought back a fish. Is this Jack of the Beanstalk? Are we in an underwhelming Christmas Panto now?

Is that where we've ended up with our careers? I just want you to explain what you've done and what the point of this fish is. Well, I can't tell you what I've done or what the point of this fish, but I can tell you something else that's related to a fish. My girlfriend, they ended up in a B&B. It's very misogynistic to refer to women as fish.

That's pretty old school. Also B&B, that's two bees.

Bees on fish. Hey, didn't your mum have teach you about the bees and the fish? She's in the fish. Jesus, Stephen. No one, you turned out, so messed up. Whoa. Is that homophobic, log? Fucking hell. We're pressing all of them. Edgy as fuck this episode so far.

We've hardly even begun.

But listen, she went to this B&B,

and it was called June's B&B,

and it was near like Cambridge or something,

and apparently it was just insane.

The windows were all covered in newspaper,

and when they went into their... Was that a design decision or to... I don't know. I think it turned out there was decorating

going on but I think inside initially it was just like, are we actually staying here? And yeah,

...