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Money For Couples

130. “I don’t trust him with spending. Do we have a future?”

Money For Couples

Ramit Sethi

Relationships, Society & Culture, Investing, Business

4.63.1K Ratings

🗓️ 14 November 2023

⏱️ 81 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Alise is 38 and Jesse is 42; they live in Portland with no kids and have been married for 10 years. Alise has a growing sense of urgency related to their future–their lack of savings, modest investments, and credit card debt—fed by pressure from her family. But Jesse is hands-off with money. This episode is brought to you by: Fabric by Gerber Life | Protect your family today with Fabric by Gerber Life. Apply today in just 10 minutes at https://meetfabric.com/ramit. Long Angle | If you've made a lot of money and you're looking for a community of peers to turn to for advice, go to https://www.longangle.com/ to learn more. LMNT | Right now, LMNT is offering 8 single serving packets FREE with any LMNT order. This is a great way to try all 8 flavors. Get yours at https://drinklmnt.com/RAMIT. BetterHelp | Visit https://betterhelp.com/ramit today to get 10% off your first month. Superhuman | Get a free month of lighting fast email at https://superhuman.com/ramit. Links mentioned in this episode Join Earnable Connect with Ramit Get the Podcast Newsletter and exclusive Q&A about the show Get Money Coaching with Ramit Download the Conscious Spending Plan Get my New York Times best-selling book Get my no-numbers journal Other episodes Instagram Twitter YouTube Submit a question for the newsletter iwt.com/askramit If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here. Produced by Crate Media.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Knowing how much debt Jesse has and how little savings and how little he's put in his

0:07.9

Roth over the years, when I see that extra money being spent on things unnecessarily or just what I view is maybe

0:16.3

excessive for his situation, it makes me angry.

0:20.3

Angry.

0:21.3

It seems irresponsible, like I'm just really agitated by it.

0:25.0

Scared to not having enough, scared that we're not going to be able to live the life that we want and do things we want in the future because of where we are now.

0:35.2

And I'm also scared that like this might not work like we might not work.

0:41.5

Well, there are other fish in the sea that have a better, you know, they look better on paper

0:47.4

than I do.

0:48.4

We don't have to be married.

0:51.4

Maybe I'm not that person for you that can give you the security that you want.

0:59.8

Meet A Lisa and Jesse. Lisa's 38, Jesse's 42.

1:04.0

They are married living in Portland, Oregon with no children.

1:07.8

There's two examples I want you to pay attention to right in the beginning of this conversation. The first is a big one. It's a

1:14.6

time share purchase and I want you to notice the dynamic that happened when they

1:20.1

purchased that time share. The second example is when they went to dinner and

1:25.1

that's a small example but I want you to also notice the dynamic there and as we

1:30.4

dig into who they are and how they grew up, you're going to discover some big surprises along the way.

1:36.0

Now, before we dive into the episode, let me ask you this.

1:39.0

What would you do if you found out that your partner was in $100,000 of debt.

1:43.9

Or they told you, I've got a money guy,

1:46.6

one who charges 1.25% Aum.

...

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