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Kump

13 - The Morgue Photoshop Scandal

Kump

Ray Kump

Comedy

4.8548 Ratings

🗓️ 7 April 2019

⏱️ 46 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Ray tells the story of how he drew the ire of funeral directors with his photoshop skills, imagines what sort of Navy Seal he would be, and gives some very detailed predictions for Wrestlemania.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hello, welcome to Kump.

0:21.0

Coming back to you again from this closet.

0:24.8

It's feeling a little criss.

0:25.8

There's really no way to live.

0:27.2

I feel a little cramped.

0:28.9

I feel like I started room, the movie room recently.

0:32.8

I don't know if you guys all saw it, Bree Larson,

0:35.6

where she has to put her kid in the closet while she

0:38.7

fucks the guy who keeps her in the imprisoned.

0:42.7

I feel like that, but like I'm just a cuck in the closet.

0:48.3

Like Lucy's out there getting fucked by whoever, just some guy, and I'm just in the closet.

0:56.8

And I'm watching a little bit, maybe I'm jerking off a bit you know because it's not my mom it's you know it's i'm not really i'm not really a cuck

1:01.4

but you know whatever i'm stuck in the closet anyway i might as well try to embrace whatever this uh

1:07.9

so it's in the closet watching my wife or girlfriend get a fuck better than i would

1:13.6

fuck her out maybe worse because they're really a forceful cucking is it really is that really

1:18.1

cucking anymore when someone's like doing a bad job fucking you're like i could do bad

1:22.1

i at least i eat a pussy neither one of us has a great cop but i'm'm, at least I get her to come. What are you doing?

1:29.0

And he's just like, show up, get back in your closet, fat boy. I'm like,

1:33.0

just crying in my underwear. It's probably smell. I imagine they wouldn't just give me fresh

1:40.5

clothes all the time in this scenario. And it's weird.

1:44.6

I don't know.

1:48.5

This is Al-Qaeda or if the FBI is doing this to me.

...

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