117: King Solomon's Hog (The Second Book of Chronicles, feat. Aaron Higashi)

Apocrypals

Chris Sims

Comedy, History

4.9 • 650 Ratings

🗓️ 18 February 2025

⏱️ 111 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Yes, Theophiloi, that quote at the top of the show is actually in Bible. Like, full canon Bible that you can find in the back of the pew or the hotel room drawer. I was surprised too, but you know who wasn't? Our special guest Aaron Higashi, who returns to the show from his Multipals appearance to help us through the seemingly endless slog that is 2 Chronicles! Will he be able to rescue us from the most boring book in the whole canon by revealing that it's actually secretly really interesting? Aaron thinks so, and if anyone can convince you, it's him!

Topics of Discussion: The Alliance To End Dan McClellan, the statistics of death by cow, John Wick: Ad Bestias, the impact of the Babylonian exile on the development of the Torah, Solomonsplaining, the common currency/new ages of comics, a whole lot of Hog Talk, Rob Liefeld's The Covenant, Azazel (NOT Nightcrawler's dad), Zera the Cushite's alleged army, avoidance of seeking the Baals, incurable nasty butt disesase, the hands-on God of P, the Neko King, Chris just fully giving up, an eight year-old with Biblically bad vibes.

Hymnal: An instrumental track whose name escapes me for some reason, "Take a Chance On Me" by Stephen Mann of English Martyrs Church.

This episode of Apocrypals was edited by Chris.

Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gold or silver for his brother's sake, he will receive ample treasure in the world to come." Support the show via http://ko-fi.com/apocrypals, or check out Official Apocrypals merchandise designed by Erica Henderson! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/apocrypals?ref_id=18246

Black Lives Matter. Trans Lives Matter. Heck 12. Isaiah 54:17

Transcript

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0:00.0	Then the young men who had grown up with him told him,
0:02.9	This is what you should say to the people who said to you,
0:05.5	Your father made our yoke heavy, but you make it lighter on us.
0:08.8	This is what you should say to them.
0:10.6	My little finger is thicker than my father's loins.
0:14.3	Second Chronicles, chapter 10, verse 10.
0:17.4	The word of the Lord.
0:39.6	Hello, friends and neighbors and welcome to Apocopalus.
0:43.4	It's the podcast where two nonbelievers and occasionally a guest.
0:46.3	Read through the Bible, but we try not to be jerks about it.
0:48.1	My name is Chris Sims.
0:50.5	With me, as always, is the other set of footprints Benito Serino.
0:51.9	Benito, how are you?
0:53.1	I'm good.
0:53.8	I'm glad to be here.
0:57.0	And with me, as always, is a third set of footprints.
0:58.5	Not as always.
1:02.7	No, as always. Most people don't know this because there's not a video component to this podcast,
1:06.4	but there's usually a third person sitting in the room silently observing.
1:07.0	Jesus.
1:15.6	Yes, Jesus. It's usually Jesus. But this time it's not Jesus. I mean, you know, Jesus is taking a break this time. We have a return guest, a multi-pal, as a dog returns to his vomit.
1:22.6	Jesus Christ, Professor Dr. Aaron Higashi is with us again.
	...

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