116: It's His BIRTHDAY, Be Nice! (The Revelation of the Magi)

Apocrypals

Chris Sims

Comedy, History

4.9 • 650 Ratings

🗓️ 22 December 2024

⏱️ 107 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

O come, all ye Theophiloi, joyful and triumphant, to the final Apocrypals episode of 2024! We two kings of podcasting are reading a story about a talking star as we dive into the Revelation of the Magi. Sure, you may think you know the story of Caspar, Balthazar, and Melchior journeying to meet the baby Jesus, but did you know that there were actually a bunch of wise men and that they already talked to Jesus before they even left? Or that their journey was completely uneventful? It's certainly more interesting than it sounds, we hope! Plus: our annual live recorded Christmas gift exchange, featuring, with no exaggeration, the perfect present.

Topics of discussion: Benito gets existentially Terminator'd, Every Yule Lad Ever, Dracula Christmas, a desperate plea for those sweet sweet advertising dollars, Dr. Curt Connors (the Lizard) vis-a-vis the Looney Tunes Golden Collection, The Pinnacle of 70s Face, Orthodox April, Biblically rancid vibes, the Firstborn Opener of the Secret Womb, Deku, presents.

Hymnal: "O Come All Ye Faithful" by Bad Religion, "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" by Darlene Love

This episode of Apocrypals was edited by Chris.

Offertory: As Enoch writes, "Whoever of you spends gold or silver for his brother's sake, he will receive ample treasure in the world to come." Support the show via http://ko-fi.com/apocrypals, or check out Official Apocrypals merchandise designed by Erica Henderson! https://www.teepublic.com/stores/apocrypals?ref_id=18246

Black Lives Matter. Trans Lives Matter. Heck 12. Isaiah 54:17

Transcript

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0:00.0	And the glorious infant and the ancient light perfecting the will of the Father of Majesty
0:05.0	opened his mouth, and he said to us with a love of abundant and sweet mercy,
0:10.0	Peace to you, sons of my hidden mysteries, sons of the East, of the heavenly light,
0:16.0	because you have been found worthy to see the ancient everlasting light, you and also your fathers.
0:22.1	And as you were worthy, behold, you have received him in perfect love without doubt.
0:26.9	And again, you will be worthy to see him in his great light, before which there will no longer be any
0:32.4	mysteries because they are all fulfilled in him.
0:35.7	The Revelation of the Magi, chapter 19.
0:42.0	Oh, come, are ye faithful, joyful and triumphant?
0:49.4	Oh, come ye, oh come he to Bethlehem.
0:57.0	Come and behold.
0:59.3	Hello, friends and neighbors, and welcome to Apocrypal's, and Merry Christmas to you.
1:04.8	This is the podcast, where two nonbelievers read through the Bible, but we try not to be jerks about it.
1:11.0	My name is Chris Sims, and with me as always, is Santa's little helper himself, Benito Serino.
1:15.5	Benito, how are you? Merry Christmas.
1:19.4	I'm, well, Chris, I have to be honest.
1:21.3	I'm having, well, first of all, Merry Christmas and I love you.
1:26.2	Oh, thank you. You too, bud.
1:28.2	Yeah, good.
1:29.3	But also, I'm, I'm having a little, what, existential anxiety.
1:38.1	Oh, well, come stand behind this chest high brick wall with me.
1:42.8	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, good, good, good, good, good, good.
	...

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