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On Attachment

#109: Anxious Attachment & Open Relationships

On Attachment

Stephanie Rigg

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.9 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 14 September 2023

⏱️ 13 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts around anxious attachment & open relationships. While not being my personal experience, this is an area I receive a lot of requests and questions around, as various non-monogamous relationship structures grow in popularity. 

We'll cover:

  • common struggles of anxious attachment and how they might show up in an open relationship structure
  • the importance of having a strong relationship to self when exploring open relationships
  • communication, boundaries and self-advocacy
  • why you should never agree to open a relationship just to hold onto someone

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Transcript

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0:00.0

You're listening to On Attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience relationships and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to overcome insecurity and build healthy, thriving relationships.

0:19.8

I'm your host, relationship coach Stephanie Rigg,

0:23.1

and I'm really glad you're here.

0:28.5

Hey, everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment.

0:32.3

In today's episode, I'm talking all about anxious attachment and open relationships,

0:39.4

which is a topic that I have resisted up until now, not because I have any position against open relationships or any sort

0:46.9

philosophical take on this issue, but really just because it's not my personal experience.

0:51.7

And so much of what I share on the show is derived

0:54.6

in one form or another from my personal experience. And so a part of me feels ill qualified

0:59.6

to speak on this topic. And I should say at the outset, that I'm not going to be speaking on

1:05.2

the virtues or otherwise of alternative relationship structures other than monogamy. But really, I'm going to be focusing

1:13.0

on the questions that I get a lot of the time from people who identify as anxiously attached

1:19.2

and are thinking about entering into some sort of open relationship structure. And also speaking

1:27.1

about some of the pitfalls or challenges

1:30.6

that you might be likely to encounter as someone with anxious attachment patterns by virtue of

1:35.7

the structural elements of those relationships and things to look out for how you might be able

1:40.6

to alleviate some of those stresses or support yourself best through that

1:45.6

if that's your intention. So that's what I'm going to be talking about today. Before I dive into

1:50.8

that, a quick announcement, I wanted to let you guys know that I have started a YouTube channel.

1:56.1

I actually started a YouTube channel about a year ago, but it has had no videos up until now. And I have finally

2:01.8

bit the bullet, pulled the trigger, and I am uploading quite a lot of videos. I've got a lot of

2:07.6

content from the podcast and elsewhere. So there'll be, if you want to watch the podcast,

...

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