10 Love Lessons (In a Shot Glass)

The Angry Therapist Podcast

John Kim

Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.6 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 17 May 2021

⏱️ 13 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Roughly ten minutes of self help in a shot glass. If you're looking for a wine glass, you've come to the wrong place. Marriage family therapist and best selling author, John Kim, shares his life and love revelations as well as insights from his sessions. He pulls the curtain back and documents his journey as a therapist but more importantly, as a human being.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, my name is John Kim. I'm a therapist who went through his own rebirth many years ago
0:05.6	and I've been documenting my journey ever since sharing my life lessons and revelations.
0:10.4	I believe in casual or clinical with you instead of at you. I come unrehearsed on purpose
0:16.2	because self-health doesn't have to be so complicated.
0:28.8	10 of my most significant love lessons. Let's see if I can do this in 10 minutes.
0:37.6	Okay, let's go. Number one, love is not a battlefield your head is Pat Benatar was wrong
0:51.0	Here's the thing yes love can feel like tiptoeing through a forest of explosives and that's probably what Pat Benetar was feeling when she wrote that song, but ultimately it's everything in between our years that gives us that experience right so our
0:57.5	thinking wiring definitions triggers and securities false, about ourselves all formed from our story, which
1:06.1	includes previous love experiences.
1:09.3	The destruction is real, but where it comes from is not love itself, it comes from us.
1:16.8	Toxicity, did I say that right?
1:20.7	Toxicity doesn't come from love, it comes from a lack of self-awareness tools and the
1:28.1	dynamic of the relationship, right? So jealousy doesn't come from love, it comes from our own insecurities,
1:35.8	jumping to conclusions and making assumptions based on feelings instead of facts,
1:40.5	doesn't come from love that comes from our cognitive distortions right so love is not a
1:45.3	battlefield our head is okay number two there is no such thing as perfect I know that
1:57.8	we have this image, this this poster of what we think that perfect love looks like and I'll tell you what one of the things that I've learned very quickly is that there is no such thing as perfect.
2:08.0	Relationships are built, it's really hard and you know the chemistry like the amount of attraction you have towards someone isn't directly telling or proportional to how easy it's going to be to build something.
2:25.0	Actually, it's quite the opposite where if the attraction chemistry is extremely potent and if you feel that lightning in the bottle as they say
2:37.4	Chances are some of that may be dysfunction and so to build a relationship it is actually more difficult.
2:44.0	So there's no such thing is perfect.
2:48.7	Throw that shit away right now.
	...

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