Alright, welcome back to Women of Impact if part 1 cracks your eyes wide open about fake intimacy, love forming psychopathy and all the ways you can get roped in by your confidence and charm. Part 2 is where you take your power back and we get tactical. We already tore apart what lies due with their words and faces and now this is your crash course on how to dodge those traps, rebuild your sense of power and become unfriccunbeatable when it comes to trusting you. Now here is what's coming up that you don't want to miss. The manipulators sneakiest power moves and how they can flip an argument so you're the one apologizing for their chaos. Then we talk about exactly how predators pick their targets and what you can do to make yourself actually unappealing to the controlling, the narcissistic and the straight up dangerous. Then we dive into the line between empathetic and being emotionally hijacked and how to actually spot when someone is weaponising your emotion to keep you hooked. My homie, if you're done feeling powerless and ready to arm up, let's get into part two because this is where you protect your peace and rewrite the story right here on Women If Impact. And they've taught me a lot of things and they've shown me what love is and what love isn't and how to approach it. Okay, okay, hold it there, hold it there. They've told me a lot of things and they've told me about what love is and love isn't. And you see how his eyes just when the lid started to close and he almost went into what seems like a trance date at that point. And his other hand here is what we call adapting. So one part of his body is doing something which is outside of the baseline of what we saw before. And this is outside of the baseline that we're... And the two things do not match in any way. Oh, you're right. Yeah? Now what does it mean? I don't know, I'm not a mind reader. But is it odd for the context? Yeah, it is. Does this make me change my judgment on him at the moment? At this point, I'm probably gonna keep my judgment. I don't like what I'm seeing here. All right, so let's keep playing. Right. This is so good. Be human with it and not be so artists, you know, and I look for the things to write about in these types of situations. And I've kind of been more mature about it and getting emotionally intelligent with it, and with the only mood it's kind of explaining from my perspective how it was taught to me, because that's a real conversation that has. Okay, so this hold it here a moment, because here's what I'm seeing now is indicators of confidence. You see how those fingertips are now spread, yeah? And they're descriptive and they're spread. This is quite vulnerable for a human being. Oh, yeah. With your hands open. Yeah, because look, you know, you could easily grab my fingers and also you could get in between the fingers and get to the joints. And if you take control of my fingers, you're in control of my whole arm. So the moment I start displaying these in a big way and showing the gaps in between, I'm not fearful anymore. But when he starts to talk about relationships and the lyric behind it, there's a lot of mismatch in there. So here's what I want to look out for. Is he as confident when he talks about love? No, I don't know what's gonna, I haven't seen this.

So I don't know what's gonna happen.

Now look, I'm gonna have a bias now, am I? Cause I put forward a theory. I put forward a theory. And so I'm looking to fulfill my theory. So. How are you gonna make sure that you don't lean into your bias as you do this? Yeah, I have to say maybe. and I have to keep saying maybe, maybe, maybe.

So he started talking about love.

He's created a barrier now. He's adapting again. He's narrowed his eyes as well. So he's in narrowed to target or is he narrowed because there's something dangerous coming at him. Before we press play, you mentioned eye contact and and I've heard you actually say that when you see someone, you have to take it for the context, where they're from, their culture, their background, except for eye contact as universal. Explain what is universal about eye contact? Okay, there is one thing that's universal about eye contact is we look towards the thing of value. Yeah, listen, we are visual creatures.

The expensive part of your brain is there because of these eyes. And so you're going to use it.

And so you're going to look towards the light and you're going to look towards the thing of value.

Now, how much I do that depends on the culture. Right. Or I always think in even autism, right? Autistic people can't look people in the eye. Totally, totally. Now, why might that be? It's for many reasons. We never know we'd have to interview the person, okay? But sometimes they're so overwhelmed with the powerful feeling. Oh, aha. I'm getting this overwhelming sense of how powerful this person is. I can't manage that. OK, I'm going to manage it by not looking. In some cultures, you're allowed to look at the powerful thing for a short amount of time, and then you must look away. Is that Asian cultures? Yeah. In some cultures, in some rituals, in some cultures, you're never even allowed to see the powerful thing, but you look towards the screen that stops you seeing it. Oh, you're right, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It will look towards what is valuable or where risk and reward are. Okay. Yeah. So, risk is knowing where the risk is, is valuable because you stand more chance of survival. Mm-hmm. And play the kid. Yeah. Because I'm always looking for writing material

in these types of things.

So instead of taking it to the chin,

being like, my god, like, uh, some heartbroken, like,

I go straight to my phone or band lab,

I go straight to the studio and write about it.

It's all that there.

It is quite an interesting, violent mind.

Oh, yeah.

Isn't it?

Yeah. So, often what we call a psychological gesture. Now, we know that in psychopathy, narcissism is one of the traits that people will look for. So, we could go, okay, does he actually fundamentally get badly damaged by rejection? that that would... that seemed to be what he was explaining to us, that his chin is not strong when he comes to rejection. Yeah, he doesn't... he doesn't get hit and get back up again. And so that is something we might expect with somebody who is narcissistic. If my daughter were in a room with him, well, she's not going in a room with him. Oh, that's interesting. So let's say you were the host and you didn't know any of the allegations and things like that. And a daughter's there. Yeah. And your spider sense is going off. Okay. So my daughter's not being left in the room with him alone, even if they're not going off. And that might be overprotective, but for me that's just rational. Right. She doesn't have as much power as he has, and so the power differential is too much. Interesting, and that's specifically why. Yeah, now what I'm looking out for is he finding ways to get me out the room. Oh, mm-hmm. Because he shouldn't, and I'm generally not going to be trusting around young people and entertainment. Oh, yeah, that's fair. All right, so final conclusion on any signs of potential psychopathy there, any potential signs of lying? Well, are we ever going to watch that and go, oh yeah, there's a, there's a sign, no, we're not. No way, that's going to happen in hindsight though, given what's happened, we're certainly seeing it through a different lens, and we can now start to point to, well, there's a potential red flag on that. But ultimately, for the person going on the date, what's to be learnt from that? What's to be learnt from that is pay attention to what people are saying, what they're doing around that, and think about it carefully and ask more questions, you know, watch out for behaviour, especially if you know now what somebody who's manipulative might go after. How can women tell when a psychopath is lying or hiding who they really are? Here's what I'm going to say first of all and this will be really helpful but you may not like it. Okay. It's likely that those people can see you coming for whatever reason or you gravitate to something towards them. It's not your fault, okay? But I want you to be extra cautious around it. In behavior, once is a pattern. If it happened once, if you've met one one, you're going to meet another, then you're going to meet another. But it's not the same sign for every psychopath, okay? Because they're going to target you, okay? Let me ask you this, and you can make up an answer if you like, but I might know. I don't want to move. Let me ask you this. Have you ever been involved? It might be a relationship or business or anything or met somebody who you've realised in the end, on they were manipulative. Oh, you have. Okay. And what was it that most drew you to that person? Confidence? Confidence. Okay. I had a friend that I worked with. He said, you can only mark. You can only kind of greedy man. He said, you've got to know what you're you're greedy for. Okay? There's an option here that you're greedy for confidence. Yes. Okay. I don't even deny that. Okay. Okay. Okay. So if I were a psychopath, I'd be able to pick up on that quite quickly. And I would think, how do I manipulate you? I give you what you're greedy for. So I would give you an abundance of confidence. I would set up situations to make you as confident as I possibly could so that when you're around me, you are getting everything that you cry out for, that you want most. So now I'm going to to you, you need to know that about yourself. So before you ever look at my traits as a psycho, you've gotta know that I will manipulate you by let's say love bombing you with confidence. Mm. And you are primed to fall for that because you want it so much. Alright, quit pours, but right after this we're showing how far someone can actually get under your skin. Make you spill your secrets and turn strength into their leverage. So stay tuned, you cannot miss this one. Now, let's get back to the good stuff. My question is, if as the psychopath, how would you get out of me, that confidence is the thing I'm greedy for? Yeah. Okay. I would ask you a hierarchical evaluative question. If I want to manipulate you, in fact, here's why don't I do it? Yeah, be the psychopath. But why don't I do it?

No, I'm not saying psychopaths will use the exact questions that I'm going to use,

but I'm going to use these questions because I'm going to be able to do it really fast. Okay. Okay, let's go. Okay. So look, I know you live in LA. My guess is, is like you could live anywhere in the world, is the reality.

So what do you like most about living in LA?

I like the sunshine.

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