The following is an archived podcast presented by the Branson and Hudson Foundation for Podcast Recovery.

This podcast is entitled Who Wants to Be Food? It is the first and only episode of the podcast. Welcome to episode one.

Hello and welcome to Who Wants to Be Dinner on Food Network. I'm your host Kiki Champagne and if you're lucky, you can be my dinner.

My quarter million Twitter followers know me from my beachside selfies with captions like,

something on my mind, and from my viral raps where I say the N-word 15 times and no one calls me out for it.

Our contestants today are among the thousands of men who quote tweet me every day,

telling me how they'd like me to roast, fillet, or fry them,

and eat them up like little turkeys and pigies.

These three contestants have distinguished themselves

as the tastiest of the crop

and stand just two rounds away from being cooked and eaten

on live TV by me, Kiki Champagne.

Now, let's meet our contestants.

I Be Good Food, let's start with you.

Hi, my name is I Be Good Food.

I am a paralegal from Indiana, Tara Hot.

I am, my wife and kids are not here with me today, but, you know, waving to the camera to say hello to them.

I'm, uh, daddy loves you.

And, uh, I am here to be eaten by you.

And I hope that you will enjoy eating me.

And I look forward to a good competition with these two men right here.

And may the best food win.

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