Well, hello, fellow Americans. My name is Elijah Schaefer, and this is nightly offensive. We've been gone. It was 2024. And, you know, we've been thinking about a lot of things. We've been doing a lot of things. But most importantly, I have to say we have been taking a break. Now, while we were gone, suddenly America turned in a different direction. I don't know if you know this, but actually a Trump decided that America was going to

buy Greenland, we were going to take over the Panama Canal and possibly annex Canada.

It looks like everybody is falling into line.

Listen to what he had to say just about the Gulf of Mexico.

We're going to be changing the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, which has a beautiful

ring that covers a lot of territory.

The Gulf of America.

What a beautiful name.

And it's appropriate.

It's appropriate.

We're going to be changing the name of the Gulf of Mexico to, Mexico. I don't know what to talk about this.

He's back.

He's talking about the fact that, look, we've got to change the name of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America.

And I have to say that, yeah, why are we doing what we're doing?

Why do we care about what any other country thinks?

Like, we're white people.

We are America.

We are a European colony. Our military

can nuke you off the face of the earth. We don't give a shit about your personal opinions.

We don't want to hear your takes on what we should be doing. And quite frankly, you don't

deserve to have an ocean or a gulf named after you. And I don't even really know what a golf is. But if, you know, fuck you. You don't get to have it.

It's ours now, too.

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