Hi, Besties, welcome back to Try Not to Care, or if you're new here, welcome to

Trinidad to Care.

The other day, I was driving in my car and this thought popped into my head and I remembered

a couple years ago when my ex-boyfriend and I broke up after he cheated on me and left me for

the girl he cheated on me with. I was devastated. Yeah, yeah. But when we broke up, I thought I was never going to

feel love or be loved again the way that I thought I was by that boyfriend. Now, he wasn't the best

boyfriend to me by any means, just being very transparent here. There was a lot of things in that relationship

that he did wrong and he hurt me a lot, but there were some things that he did do right,

like he sent me songs that made him think of me, he would compliment me, which is the bare

minimum, but before him, which is the bare minimum.

But before him, I had never experienced that.

No guy before him did those things.

So when he did them, I thought it was special, something most girls don't get.

So after the breakup, I thought there's no way I'm going to experience that again. The bar was set so low and I romanticized him and the relationship so much that I really did believe that the

only reason I was experiencing those things and I was being complimented and I was being

called beautiful was because he saw something special in me.

It wasn't because I deserved those things or because I was those things. It was because

he believed I was. I look back at it now and it's funny to me because it's just so untrue that

it's comical. But it is sad. It's sad that I thought those things about

myself. It's sad that I thought it was doomed because this shitty relationship ended. It's sad that

I thought that X of mine made me valuable. Now that I'm very far out of that relationship,

it's been many years. I've moved on. I've built higher

...