Well, Matt Bet's getting ready for his big flex.

I train Pokemon in years past.

Now look in Oz, I show you my Pocadex, read it and weep my Pokemon are shiny, a red

pika and a yellow pile of swine.

It's divine, you know they're all shiny. I've got rare colors coming out my wazoo

It's very true Don't you know I went and caught them all with my different types of

polka balls watch them shimmer my Pokemon are shiny I'm going to talk about how all your shiny Pokemon are doomed to die.

If you're not already familiar, shiny Pokemon are the rare variants of your favorite cuddly pocket monsters that have a different

color palette than the other members of their species.

Black Charizards, Blue Pony Tuts, Golden Magic Harps, because let's be honest, anything to make

this useless fish even remotely cool is a welcome change.

But catching these guys comes with, um, well, a catch.

Finding Shines has truly amped up the difficulty of catching them all,

considering their appearance rates have been reported to anywhere between 1 in 500

to 1 in 8,192.

When I say that these guys are rare, I mean, they are rare.

Now, it's tempting to just write this off as yet another way to make

Pokemon sticky for the player.

Give it more things to chase, more rare things that will deliver a satisfying shot of

dopamine into the brain, yet another badge of honor that you can lord over all your

polka-pals and most importantly of all more things to love and

cuddle and buy as merch at your local Spencer's gifts. But here's the thing

...