Your Mom’s A Ho Ho Ho On Only Sleighs

Sofa King Podcast

Comedy, History, Society & Culture

4.8 • 1.4K Ratings

🗓️ 24 December 2025

⏱️ 43 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Ten years in, and somehow we’re still here—older, louder, and more Sofa King unhinged than ever. For this year-end Christmas episode, we turned the mic over to the Skult and asked one simple question:“If money was no object… what do you want for Christmas?” The answers ranged from wholesome to wildly inappropriate—student loans paid off, houses bought, tractors replaced, gaming rigs upgraded, lost family reunions, rare books, government cheese, steam decks, lottery wins, socks, booze, podcast episodes, and yes… some answers that probably shouldn’t be read out loud but absolutely were. This episode is a celebration of: The weird, loyal, hilarious community that’s kept this show alive 10 years of conversations, chaos, and inside jokes Gratitude for everyone who listens, comments, roasts us, and somehow still comes back No deep conspiracy dives. No heavy topics. Just laughs, reflections, and a reminder that this show exists because you weirdos exist. From all of us to all of you—Merry Skultmas, Happy Holidays, and thank you for riding with us for 10 years. 🖤🎅🏼 Listen. Learn. Laugh. Question everything. Support the show & join The Skult: Patreon.com/SofaKingPodcast Merch & SK Gear: SofaKingPodcast.com More Episodes: / @sofakingpodcast Sofakingpodcast.com Produced by Brad Taylor Music by Brad Taylor Full songs available on Patreon "Enter the Sofa King Chamber" "Skult Xmas '25" Artwork by Brent Vantassel

Transcript

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0:00.0	So in the shadows Sumpur King
0:22.0	In the shadows let the bell ring
0:24.1	Voices strike like the guillotine swings
0:26.4	Sumpur king
0:27.3	Colth on the rise spill the dread we bring
0:29.6	Welcome to the chamber
0:31.5	Suffer King
0:32.7	Fourth in the shadows let the bell ring
0:34.9	Three voices strike like a guillotine swing
0:37.2	Sumpur king Cote on the rise still the dread ring. Three voices strike like a guillotine swim. So fucking.
0:38.3	Cote on the rise through the dread we bring.
0:40.8	Welcome to the chamber.
0:43.0	Be where the laughter of the kings on the couch,
0:45.5	for it is the last sound you may ever hear.
0:53.4	I hope no one's daughter.
0:56.1	Yeah, that would be bad.
0:57.5	Where were we?
0:58.4	Did I tell that story about their young girl and the fucking, uh, in and out?
1:03.2	It was like after something, it was late.
1:05.3	And we went there to eat with the group of people I was with.
1:08.3	It was out of town.
1:09.7	And there was like some young kids in there.
	...

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