Welcome to the Relationship Coaching School podcast. This is for coaches and therapists obsessed with human transformation. We're going to nerd out on everything related to coaching. How do we get people to change? What makes a person wake up? What's ineffective and effective these days? It's also for you, if you're a client of relationship coaching or therapy, being a great

client is half the battle, and we're going to discuss how to utilize your coach or therapist

to get the best results possible. Since 2002, I've been obsessed with understanding myself

and applying that understanding in my relationship life. I'm your host Jason Gattis. I've been a therapist

and a coach for over 20 years and I've been training coaches professionally since 2016. I even came up

with my own coaching methodology called present-centered relationship coaching and I've trained

hundreds of coaches worldwide in my methods. I'm excited to be here.

Let's go.

What's up?

Your main job as a coach or therapist, when you work with people around their relationship

life, including their relationship to themselves, is very straightforward.

It's not to necessarily help them set a boundary, own their needs, or communicate better.

Although all that's really important.

I think your main job is to help someone be authentically who they are,

aiming to simultaneously get what they want.

So let's unpack this.

One of the hardest things for people, it seems to me, in their intimate relationship life,

is to be true to themselves and give what they want at the same time.

A lot of people think they have to do a childhood version of relationships, which is I've got to leave parts of myself behind to be loved and accepted here.

I've got to withhold my truth here.

I've got to abandon myself for love.

I've got to posture and be nice and kind and friendly and hide my rage and anger and all my

...