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The Virtual Couch

Your Brain Doesn't Have a Delete Button - A Thought is a Thought, a Feeling is a Feeling

The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

5643 Ratings

🗓️ 14 July 2021

⏱️ 29 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What do you do with those pesky unwanted, irrational, and sometimes downright inappropriate or scary thoughts? Hint - trying to stop them, push them away, or change them can often make them even stronger. Tony shares the "numbers" metaphor from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) which teaches that the brain works by addition, not subtraction, and shares the most helpful way to look at thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

So the year was 2016 and my wife Wendy and my daughter McKinley and I were driving to the start of the Davis turkey trot.

0:08.7

It was a half marathon held about an hour or so away from where we live.

0:13.0

And I was excited.

0:14.1

I was feeling in the moment.

0:15.1

I was about to do something that I loved with people that I loved even more.

0:18.9

And when I get excited and I'm in the car and I want to help

0:21.9

people take their minds off of something stressful, then I like to play music. And I love having

0:28.5

the ability to look up any song from my youth and play it instantly. I don't know if my family,

0:33.0

especially my kids, love that so much. It still kind of blows my mind that I used to have to

0:36.7

record a song off the radio,

0:38.2

or if you were lucky, one of your friends would buy the tape or the record or a CD of an artist

0:41.9

that you wanted to hear just so that you could hear one or two songs that they would play on the

0:45.4

radio. So on this particular day, my live DJ mode had somehow kicked in and I had found my way

0:51.0

to sharing with my daughter McKinley old Jackson five songs,

0:54.6

in particular, Michael Jackson, belting out who's loving you at the age of 11,

0:59.4

which reminded me of the artist Terrence Trent Darby, who covered that cover because that song,

1:05.8

just for the G-Wiz file, was it originally written by Smokey Robinson and performed by his

1:10.4

group The Miracles in 1960, but I digress.

1:13.4

So on his album, introducing the hard line, according to Terrence Trent Darby, that's the name of the

1:18.5

album, back in 1987, when I was a junior in high school, I first heard that song.

1:24.5

And so I asked her to play this version, this Terrence Trent Darby version.

1:29.2

And the second it started up, I immediately felt tears well up in my eyes so fast as I thought

...

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