I have been married for a number of years now. Yes, we are pushing closer to that 30-year mark.

We have just celebrated 28 years of marriage. It is crazy. I think I've got a picture of my beautiful wife. This is my beautiful wife and I, and I love hanging out

with her. She is my best friend. When I got married, I did not realize how expensive women were.

Okay? Maybe not all women, but the one I married is. And she deserves every bit of it. I did not know what hair would cause. I didn't know

what shoes caused. I thought we walked around barefoot, but I've come to find out, you got to have

shoes, you got to get your hair done, and it has been a wonderful journey. But now I've discovered

there's also this other thing called lashes, like, lash extensions. There's a weave for your

lashes. I did not know this, okay? When I got married and I discovered this, I was like, wait, honey,

we got to make this a budget line item, and I had a great mentor on my life. Like, hey, you make sure you take care of you after.

I'm like, okay, great.

I'll give plasma.

So now we've got these lashes that we're doing.

And I get a call one day.

And my wife, Onika, is frantic.

She is beside herself.

She is scared. I could hear it in her voice. Earl, Earl, Earl, Earl, Earl. I'm here at my last

appointment and this guy just followed me up the steps and has been yelling at me and berating me

the entire time I'm walking up the steps.

Earl, I'm scared.

Earl, Earl, I feel like he might attack me.

And I'm like, I'm driving in the car.

I'm like, wait, what?

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