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The Daily Dad

You’ve Done Your Job

The Daily Dad

Daily Dad

Dads, Society & Culture, Kids & Family, Fatherhood, Education, Wisdom, Relationships, Ryan Holiday, Self-improvement, Parenting

4.6629 Ratings

🗓️ 6 February 2024

⏱️ 5 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

“This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/dailydad and get on your way to being your best self.”

The great John Wooden would practice his team hard through the week. He’d run through the plans over and over and over again. Yet as they left the locker room and headed out onto the court for the game, he would say to the team, “Well, I’ve done my job.” He wasn’t going to be micromanaging them from the sideline. It was their turn to do their job.

And so it goes for us as parents. At some point, we have to leave them at the entrance to the school. At their job. With their own finances. With their own children. We can’t solve every problem. We can’t prevent everything from going wrong. That’s their job.

Jessica Lahey’s wonderful book The Gift of Failure (pick it up at The Painted Porch) reminds us that by not giving them this chance, by not letting them try and struggle to do their job, we’re actually harming them. We’re setting them up for more failure down the road…and less ability to deal with it.

Giving children the space to struggle because we believe in them, because we believe even more in what will come out the other side, isn’t always easy—for us or them. That’s why one side of our Luctor et Emergo medallion features the mantra, “good, not easy,” surrounded by three other reminders we parents need each day: “let them struggle,” “show them support,” “help them grow.” Get one to carry around with you at the Daily Dad Store today! 

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

This episode of Daily Dad is sponsored by BetterHelp.

0:04.0

Welcome to the Daily Dad podcast, where we provide one lesson every single day to help you with your most important job, being a parent.

0:16.0

I'm Ryan Holiday, and I draw these lessons from ancient philosophy, modern psychology, practical

0:23.3

wisdom, and insights from parents just like you all over the world.

0:28.4

Thank you for listening, and we hope this helps.

0:33.6

I've always been a big advocate for therapy well before I had kids, and now that I have kids,

0:38.8

it's just so much more. You're just stressed in ways that you weren't before. You're dealing

0:42.6

with issues from your own childhood coming back up again, and therapy is a great tool to ground

0:47.6

you. And if you're thinking of starting therapy, give better help a try. It's entirely online

0:52.5

designed to be convenient, flexible and suited to your schedule.

0:55.2

Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge.

1:01.3

Therapy is just a great place to work through the challenges you face in your relationships with friends, work, your significant other, and of course, inside your family.

1:08.9

Be a better parent yourself. Visit betterhelp.com

1:11.8

slash daily dad today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp help.com

1:17.6

slash daily dad.

2:02.6

You've done your job. Of course you want to do everything you can for them. You want to help them. You want to save them. You want to spare them the trouble and pain and failure. But you know that you can and you know that it's best that you don't try. The great John Wooden would practice his team hard through the week. He'd run through the plans over and over and over again. Yet as they left the locker room and headed out onto the court for the game, he would say to the team, well, I've done my job. He wasn't going to be micromanaging them from the sideline. It was their turn to do their job. And so it goes for us as parents. At some point, we have to leave them at the entrance to the school, at their job, with their own finances, with their own children. We can't

2:06.3

solve every problem and we can't prevent everything from going wrong. That's their job.

2:11.2

Jessica Leahy's wonderful book, The Gift of Failure, you can grab it at the painted porch.

2:15.2

She reminds us that by not giving them this chance,

2:18.0

by not letting them try and struggle to do their job,

2:21.1

we're actually harming them.

2:22.7

We're setting them up for more failure down the road

...

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