Welcome to the Daily Dad podcast, where we provide one lesson every single day to help you with your most important job, being a parent.

I'm Ryan Holiday, and I draw these lessons from ancient philosophy, modern psychology, practical wisdom, and insights from

parents just like you all over the world. Thank you for listening, and we hope this helps.

You are the voice in their heads. You're just trying to get them to behave. You're just trying to get them to listen to you, to stop hitting their sister, to take school seriously, to whatever. So you speak firmly, even harshly. You're tired. You've had this conversation a thousand times, so you're not as kind as you could be.

You're just joking, maybe, just giving your honest opinion about this or that. But do you know what

you're doing really? You're putting a voice in their heads. That's how this happens. Everything we say,

every interaction we have with our kids is shaping them. How we speak to them

informs how they will speak to themselves. If you want proof of this, think of all the complexes and

scripts you picked up from your parents. Maybe things you're working on in therapy right now,

decades later. So while you can, before it's too late, catch yourself. Make this interaction a kind

one, a patient one, a friendly one. Speak to them the way you'd want them to speak to themselves,

because it's not a matter of if they will internalize the things they heard growing up.

It's a matter of what they will internalize. So put a good voice in their head.

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Thanks.