You’re Listening Wrong: Why Charisma Is About What You Feel, Not What You Say [Social Intelligence Brief]

The Art of Charm

http://www.TheArtOfCharm.com

Business, Health & Fitness, Education

4.7 • 11K Ratings

🗓️ 8 August 2025

⏱️ 15 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

AJ and Johnny reveal the hidden layer of charisma most people ignore—what they call “conversation radar.” It’s not about perfect lines or clever comebacks, but tuning into tone, timing, and what’s left unsaid. Drawing on client stories, dating experiments, and neuroscience, they show how this overlooked skill transforms first dates, sales calls, and even long-term relationships. They explain the two “channels” of communication—words and frequency—and why the latter is the real key to connection. You’ll learn how to spot emotional cues, read identity markers, and respond to energy instead of scripts, creating moments that make you unforgettable. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why charisma is more about listening than speaking [00:00:59] How tech is eroding our empathy and radar skills [00:02:11] The difference between Channel 1 (words) and Channel 2 (frequency) [00:02:49] Client story: From boring first dates to magnetic conversations [00:04:03] AJ’s dating experiment—ditching prep to trust his radar [00:06:15] How “listening” can fail if you ignore tone and emotion [00:07:35] The science behind theory of mind and mirror neurons [00:08:20] Why people-pleasing kills authentic connection [00:09:23] How high performers use emotional cues to close more deals [00:10:45] The real reason charm feels rare in today’s world [00:11:55] Practical cues to spot and respond to in your next conversation A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠CIA-proven guide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.rula.com/charm ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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0:27.1	Hello podcast fans, I'm Bradley Simpson.
0:29.8	When I think about the stories that stayed with me, one that immediately comes to mind,
0:33.6	is Ratatooie.
0:34.5	A talented route who just wants to cook and honestly I was glued to
0:37.7	my screen straight away and now I'm hooked on FX's The Bear on Disney Plus. I love
0:42.3	everything about it. I love the styling, the tension, the drama. It's the best
0:45.9	thing I've watched in ages. Only the greatest stories stay with you for a lifetime and
0:50.0	honestly it's true. So what will be your next great story on Disney Plus? Copyright 2025 Disney and its
0:55.6	related entities. 18 plus subscription required. You've been told charisma is about having the right
1:01.5	words. But what if it's dead wrong? The most magnetic people aren't actually better talkers.
1:08.2	They're better listeners. They sense things in the conversation that
1:11.8	others just miss completely. Today we're revealing a skill we call conversation radar and how
1:17.7	learning to feel what someone isn't saying is the real secret to being unforgettable.
1:23.9	Now, most people already sense subtle emotional cues in conversation.
1:28.1	It is an innate ability we all have.
1:30.6	Unfortunately, we've lost our ability to tap into it in those high-stress moments where we are trying to be most charismatic.
	...

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