You Must Be It, Before You Can Have It
The R Spot with Iyanla
Shondaland Audio and iHeartPodcasts
4.9 • 908 Ratings
🗓️ 5 July 2023
⏱️ 40 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This week, a struggling woman calls Iyanla looking to learn how she can be happy being single, but as Iyanla learns more about the caller’s situation, it becomes apparent that there’s more to the story. The caller shares the heartbreaking experience of her father’s death, and learns that her relationship being transactional might have some huge consequences for her happiness going forward.
Do you want to be on the podcast? Follow Iyanla on social media for the latest call-in information!
instagram & twitter: @IyanlaVanzant
facebook: @DrIyanlaVanzant
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | I amla. I've been very open about the fact that I was not always good and making my |
| 0:08.4 | relationships work. I have been divorced three times twice from the same person. In other words, I have seen a lot and failed a lot in my relationships. |
| 0:19.0 | So I am here to share with you what I learned along the way because I did take copious notes. |
| 0:26.5 | Welcome to the R-Spot, a production of Shandaland Audio in partnership with I Heart Radio. I think one of the most challenging questions women have at a certain age is why can't I find somebody to love me? |
| 0:59.0 | And particularly in that 20 age group, 20 to 29, even 19 to 29, 19 to 29, |
| 1:10.0 | yeah that 10 year span, that 10-year span. |
| 1:13.5 | They want to be chosen. |
| 1:15.2 | They want to be the one that gets picked. |
| 1:17.2 | They want to be the one that somebody chooses. |
| 1:20.7 | Because their dream is to be connected. |
| 1:24.0 | Their dream is for companionship, for joy. |
| 1:27.0 | They want to know the power of a commitment. |
| 1:30.0 | But if those women are bringing in their mothers unheeled business, their mothers unheeled issues, which they do, which we do. |
| 1:41.0 | What we're born into, what we're born from, what we're born with matters. |
| 1:46.4 | And what we don't understand is wherever our mother was, |
| 1:50.7 | when she got pregnant with us, how she got pregnant with us, how she lived throughout the pregnancy, |
| 1:56.8 | how she felt how she thought, that's what we're born from, that's what we're born with, and that's what we're born into. |
| 2:06.0 | And we may have to spend those first 20, 29 years cleaning up what we inherited. |
| 2:14.4 | We don't understand that and we try to boil it down to |
| 2:17.9 | why doesn't anybody want me? |
| 2:19.7 | And it's just, it's a bigger question. It's a bigger question. And my caller this morning has some really, really big questions. |
| 2:32.0 | Take a listen. |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Shondaland Audio and iHeartPodcasts, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Shondaland Audio and iHeartPodcasts and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.