Welcome to the Daily Dad podcast where we provide one lesson every single day to help you with your most important job, being a parent.

I'm Ryan Holiday, and I draw these lessons from ancient philosophy, modern psychology, practical wisdom, and insights

from parents just like you all over the world. Thank you for listening, and we hope this helps.

You gave up this right. Being a parent doesn't mean that you have to give up on your dreams.

We've talked about this many times. What kind of message would it send to your kids to see their parents quit on themselves?

What kind of house is it to grow up where mom and dad aren't growing, changing? They aren't taking risks. They aren't fulfilled.

And yet we also understand that it isn't about us anymore.

Before, sure, we could take on every risk and pursue every opportunity, but things are different now.

There are people counting on us, people affected by our decisions.

Lane Kiffin is an ambitious football coach. After stunning early successes, he felt quite a ways down

the coaching hierarchy.

Then he steadily fought his way back up near to the top of his profession, leading a great

program at Ole Miss. His family found security and stability there too, one of his daughters,

especially so. But then another bigger job beckoned. Should he give it all up and go for it his daughter decided to speak to him

real honestly about it i would understand if you'd been a coach your whole life and you'd been chasing the

big job and never had it and this was your one shot she said pleading with him to stay but you've had that

before so what's more important when you had had me, she said, you gave up the

right to always make choices for yourself. It was brave and it was right. That was pretty mature

for Kiffin reflected because I did make choices for myself. I didn't think about what was best for the

kids. So when she said that, it really hit me. How could I hear her and then tell her no? I'm going to go. We didn't give up on our dreams or our ambitions when we had kids, but we did give up the right to be wholly selfish. We have other people, other priorities to consider now. It's not that we're tied down, it's that we're rooted. We're balanced out. We can make better

decisions now, decisions not just for ourselves, but for the whole family. This holiday season,

I want to give a gift to my loved ones that I know will make them feel special because it made me

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