If you find yourself over-explaining your decisions, your feelings, your boundaries,

then this video is not about communicating better. It's about understanding and recognizing

that there's something in you that feels unsafe if you're not understood.

So over-explaining is not about clarity, it's about avoiding a feeling.

A feeling that if you're not understood, you could be rejected and abandoned.

And once you see this mechanism, really see how it operates, it can naturally fall away.

Now this pattern of over-explaining is very common, but it's not natural. It's definitely learned.

If I think of my two-year-old daughter, she comes home from nursery and she comes

rushing up to me and she gives me this delightful hug and it's scrummy. And then literally two

minutes later, I could go, can daddy have a hug? And she'll go, nope, and tootle off. Last night we

were sat and she had a bowl of raisins. Can Daddy have a raisin? No. No explaining, no guilt, no shame, no agenda, no image management. So over-explaining is very much a learned, conditioned mechanism. It's not your personality. It's not just who you are.

Because my daughter is pre-ego, same as my cat. My cat similarly is unapologetic. She'll come up for a

stroke when she wants, when I want, uh-uh. So it's about recognizing this is an egoic trait that gets formed early.

And what happens is the first mistake, or one of the first mistakes that ego makes is to

confuse approval with love.

Now, love is our nature.

And awakening is seeing that clearly.

But until we see that clearly,

we start to believe, or we believe,

that love is outside us.

So when we are young,

and we grew up in an environment where we hear things like,

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