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As a therapist, I often find myself in little conversations about relationships, mental health, so on and so forth.

And I found myself in the middle of one of those the other day. I was chatting with a friend and she was telling me about how her husband had been

speaking to her lately, which sounded demeaning and passive-aggressive. As she described more

of the problem, her eyes lit up as she prepared me for the newest revelation she had.

She told me about some of the progress she's made in her own therapeutic journey and was so excited to be learning about the idea of boundaries.

They're essential for good communication and good relationships, so I was excited to hear this as well.

She went on to tell me, I'm so proud of myself.

I realized that this is a boundaries issue and the way he was talking to me was not okay.

And then I realized he'll never know my boundary if I don't communicate it with him.

So I just told him.

I told him you are not allowed to speak to me like that anymore.

It seemed like a real mic drop moment.

Except the mic was about to gather a little bit of feedback.

That's great, I told her.

You used your voice and you're right,

that the way he's speaking to you needs to change and you're right,

that he's not going to know what you're thinking unless you've verbally communicated to him.

But what you're wrong about is that what you said

is not a boundary.

Hello and welcome to relationship advice. My name is Coulter Bloxham. I am one of your

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