Withdrawers: When Keeping the Peace Backfires

Relationship Advice

Colter Bloxom

Relationships, Mental Health, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.4 • 1.7K Ratings

🗓️ 25 May 2026

⏱️ 58 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode, the crew dives into the “withdrawer” role in relationships and how rigid, all-or-nothing responses can quietly create disconnection. They unpack why withdrawers often appease, shut down, or avoid conflict altogether — not because they don’t care, but because disappointing their partner feels intolerable. The conversation explores healthier alternatives to passive or rigid boundaries, including slowing down, using buffer statements, getting curious, and learning how to tolerate discomfort without punishing each other. Main Talking Points: All-Or-Nothing Thinking Passive Boundaries Buffer Statements Tolerating Disappointment Vulnerable Curiosity Flexible Responses Give Me Discounts! ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ - Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order! Rythm - Get 15% off your first month + free shipping! ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order. Quince - Get Free Shipping and 365-day Returns using our link! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	We all want to feel more connected in our relationships, but oftentimes we don't know where to start.
0:07.6	If you're here and listening to the podcast, you've already made a huge step in the right direction to strengthening and deepening your relationship.
0:15.6	But what you're probably still looking for are the specific tools and exercises needed to create lasting positive
0:21.8	improvements in your relationship. Change doesn't happen on its own. And that's why we created
0:27.1	the course, Spark My Relationship. Spark My Relationship will help you create more passion,
0:32.2	improve your communication, and build a stronger, more intimate connection with your partner
0:37.1	in less than 90
0:38.1	days. When life gets busy and stressful, your relationship doesn't have to take the backseat.
0:43.8	This course has helped thousands of couples reignite that spark while having fun.
0:49.1	Spark My Relationship is designed to infuse your life and relationship with fresh passion,
0:55.5	skills, and wisdom.
1:00.5	This self-paced journey is perfect for turning up the heat, having some fun together,
1:04.2	and revolutionizing your intimacy and communication.
1:09.9	In this course, you'll learn from 15 different psychologists and therapists the strategies that marriage therapists teach their
1:11.6	clients. Some of these strategies include how to eliminate unhelpful old habits, develop
1:17.1	mindful awareness to help improve stress management, learning healthy and successful communication
1:23.1	tools, creating a deeper and more intimate bond, and strengthening your couple microculture and
1:29.2	future together. Don't just settle for an average relationship. Make it amazing. For our listeners
1:35.6	only, we're offering a special $100 off the course. Visit spark my relationship.com
1:42.3	slash unlock to unlock your discount today. There's a 30-day money-back guarantee,
1:48.2	so there's really no reason not to give it a try. Visit SparkMorrelationship.com for slash unlock
1:55.6	for $100 off our online course. All right. Hello, welcome to relationship advice. My name is
	...

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