You Asked- I Answered: My Trauma Dictated Dating Life | After Hours With Amanda Ep. 31

After Hours With Amanda

Kids & Family, Parenting

5.0 • 697 Ratings

🗓️ 10 March 2022

⏱️ 56 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

TW: In this episode, I broadly touch on sensitive subjects so I wanted to give you a heads up. So many of you have requested a dating episode speaking specifically to my dating life and experience and as always I wanted to be honest with you.

Substance Abuse Hotline- 1-800-662-4357

National Suicide Prevention Hotline- 1-800-273-8255

National Sexual Abuse Hotline- 1-800-656-4673

National Domestic Violence Hotline- 1-800-799-7233

In this episode of After Hours With Amanda, I’m sharing the dating story y’all have been asking for, but not as advice. This is a vulnerable look at toxic relationship patterns, gaslighting, boundaries, and what happens when chaos becomes your baseline for love. I talk about wanting to feel seen, ignoring red flags, mistaking attention for care, and slowly learning that peace is not boring and love should not make you feel less than. If you have ever played the highlight reel to convince yourself something “wasn’t that bad,” this one is for you.

00:00 Coke, Gas Tanks, and Chaos

06:16 Why I’m Sharing My Dating Story

08:49 Wanting to Feel Seen

12:21 Gaslighting, Lies, and the Promise Ring

14:28 When Chaos Becomes Your Baseline

21:29 The Tarzan Swing Into Another Relationship

28:23 When One Green Flag Felt Like Everything

35:02 Addiction, Boundaries, and Feeling Responsible

38:10 The Hole No Relationship Could Fill

40:12 Disneyland, Blake, and Faith That Felt Safe

42:41 Why I Used to Create Conflict

48:10 You Deserve More Than Just Good Enough

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello and welcome back to another episode of After Hours with Amanda.
0:04.9	The podcast that talks about parenting because that's something that I do, but is about everything.
0:11.2	We have the serotonin we need today.
0:14.5	That's a Coke. I already drank my ass to coffee.
0:17.6	I am convinced that there are two people in life.
0:20.5	There are the people that fill up their gas tank when they get to like half tank and they're kind of running low.
0:25.5	And then there are the people that literally drive into the gas station on fumes.
0:29.4	They've hit zero.
0:30.3	They're under six miles from where they need to be to get to gas.
0:35.6	And then they get gas.
0:36.7	That is me. I am the latter. I am the latter
0:39.5	person. I did not grow up that way. My dad is a person that always believes you should have at least
0:45.3	three-fourths of a tank. Like at any one point, you cannot be below a half a tank. He wants you to
0:51.1	be immediately ready to go. If there is something you need to go do and not
0:54.7	having gas in my car like that stresses him out. I will tell you though, I did not use to be as bad as I
1:01.5	am being married to Blake. I can tell you 100% has made me worse. One thousand percent being
1:07.5	married to Blake has made me worse about this habit because we live a mile and a half
1:12.4	from the nearest gas station. It's like two miles actually. So it's like I can do it. But there has
1:18.3	never been a time in my life. I'm going to tell you right now, there has never been a time in my life
1:22.4	when I get home and I'm like, oh, I'll get gas in the morning. That getting gas in the morning
1:26.8	is not a complete five alarm, fire drill, anxiety panic attack.
1:32.3	I'm going to be late.
	...

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