The Toxicity of Achievement Culture | After Hours With Amanda Ep. 30

After Hours With Amanda

Kids & Family, Parenting

5.0 • 697 Ratings

🗓️ 4 March 2022

⏱️ 52 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This week, I’m talking about achievement culture, parenting pressure, and the way we can accidentally make our tiny humans’ milestones, grades, emotions, and behavior about us. From swim week and school decisions to pacifiers, homework, gentle parenting, hugs before correction, and the phrase “fair means you get your needs met,” this episode is about separating our kids’ growth from our own self worth. I’m sharing what I’m learning in real time as a mom who is doing her best, trying to disrupt before I erupt, and remembering that our children are whole people, not reflections of our performance.

00:00 Thursday Night Podcast Vibes

00:29 Welcome to the Coffee Chat

01:40 Swim Week and Tired Kids

04:36 Getting Ready for My Mental Health

06:20 Achievement Culture

07:15 Choosing a Different School Path

09:45 The Pacifier Question

12:18 What Do I Actually Care About?

13:37 Achievement Starts in Pregnancy

16:32 Milestones Are Not a Report Card

18:33 Gentle Parenting and Identity

23:34 Homework After a Full Day

26:25 Why I Started This Podcast

29:26 You Might Just Not Fit That Job

31:33 Your Achievements Are Not Your Identity

37:00 Tiny Triggers and Looking Inward

38:47 Disrupt Before You Erupt

42:03 Why I Offer a Hug First

45:04 Fair Means Needs Are Met

46:58 Stop Tying Worth to Achievement

49:49 You Are Good Enough

Transcript

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0:00.0	All right, y'all, we are going to dive right into the fact that it is Thursday night,
0:05.6	but I refuse to let another week go by without getting to talk to you.
0:11.2	And one of these days, y'all, I dream of this podcast being recorded in some fun little studio,
0:19.5	not like a big studio, but just like a cool little space where we
0:23.3	get to chat it out.
0:25.6	And I get to consistently upload every week.
0:29.2	And I, you know, for those of you that are new here, welcome to the After Hours with Amanda
0:33.6	podcast, the podcast that shares about parenting, but literally just takes from life on the
0:40.5	journey that we're all living together. It's a community. It's a coffee chat. It is time together.
0:46.7	So if you are new around here, buckle up for the most relaxed, unprofess. More along the lines of, I don't even know what to call it, just
0:58.6	the podcast that is not sponsored, produced, or anything.
1:06.0	And who knows, honestly, one day what it'll look like.
1:09.4	But today, it looks like us sitting in a closet.
1:12.7	I'm recording myself on an online website, which I will then upload to Anchor,
1:18.5	which is the host site that I do this on.
1:21.7	And we're just going to kind of dive in.
1:23.8	I know it's been a couple weeks.
1:25.0	And honestly, I'm sitting here with some pineapple
1:31.9	juice and some cookie dough bites. And my tiny people are going to sleep watching Sing 2. We started
1:40.9	swim this week. Eating cookie dough before I started talking was not the, it was not the choice here.
1:46.8	Okay. Hold on. We started swim this week. And I just need to be honest with you on a real level when I tell you that as a parent, there are certain things that people thrive at and certain things that I just learned very early on were not going to be for me.
2:02.4	And that was doing any type of organized sport that took up our weeknights and our weekends before my kids were able to kind of verbalize something.
	...

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