Welcome to Love and Abuse, the show about helping you identify poisonous communication and toxic behavior.

You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.

That's why it's important that you learn to pinpoint manipulative and controlling behavior so that you keep your power and your sanity.

I'm your host, Paul Koliani.

Thank you. power and your sanity. I'm your host, Paul Koliati. Welcome to another episode of love and abuse. As a reminder, all the information on this show

is meant for educational purposes only.

Always seek a professional for your mental health and well-being.

So I received the question quite a bit about can the emotional abuser change?

And the answer is yes.

Only if they feel empathy.

Only if they know that they're hurting you and they care that they're hurting you, they can change even when it seems like they can't. However, you need to find out

if they can change by asking them a couple questions and then

waiting for them to actually act upon their answer.

What I mean by that is you can ask them the question, do you realize that what you're doing

is hurting me?

I think that's a valid question. When you're being emotionally abused

or when you feel harassed or abused in any way in your relationship, do you realize you're

hurting me? What this does is allow them to react from a non-defensive place.

It is a way to convey how you're feeling, just like saying I care about you.

It's the same conveyance.

Do you realize that you're hurting me?

It's not the same words.

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