Hey, the bird show.

If you think about it, history really is just a bunch of hot gossip.

Now, of course, we all think it's boring because we probably had a teacher that ruined it for us in ninth grade high school class.

But essentially, when you think about history, it is just passing on tales of things that people did, salacious news that would have been major headlines back in the day.

So this week for ye old gossip, we're talking about how Cleopatra's Pandora's box brought down the entire Roman Empire.

So our girl, Cleo, she wasn't just a queen.

She was a political mastermind who used her tempter skills to single-handedly flirt the Roman Empire into absolute chaos.

You might have had a relationship that was so messy it took down a friend group, but to get on Cleo's level, you'd need to homie hop into taking down an entire civilization.

So let's transport ourselves to ancient Egypt.

The Egyptians were a lot like the Targaryans from Game of Thrones in the sense that

they were down with marrying within the family.

So Cleopatra.

Got to keep that bloodline pure, baby.

Yeah, you do.

So Cleopatra, she's 18.

And she's married to her younger brother, Tolemy, and together

they rule Egypt. At the time, Rome was kind of a big deal, and the big guy in charge

is none other than some dude you might have heard of named Julius Caesar. Love his salads.

So Cleopatra. So you did that. Love his salads. So Cleopatra.

So she starts hearing about Julius and is like, oh, that's some big pyramid energy.

And she goes to her brother Ptolemy and she's like, we should get cool with him.

And Tullami is like, we are so much better than Caesar salad over there.

...